The appearance of brazen muzzle with hot radiators

How I found out that Shri Ram had another woman? From my words to my son. It was November 8, 2017. My son was asked to read something, the teacher asked me to check it. She specifically called to tell me that my son in the evening should read aloud. And in the evening I told my son read a book aloud, and he lay down on the sofa with an impudent look and ignored my words. I tried to force him to read, but it was like talking to the wall, and he lay before me with a brazen look. It just pissed me off and I began to shout at him in complete impotence, asking what did I do to him bad that he sit with such brazen muzzle.

Almost immediately I realized that I was the one screaming about my Shri Ram. I thought not just like that I shout at my son with these words. I thought that this Shri Ram could not resist the temptation and became with some brazen muzzle, with some other woman and dived in her. I was so sad... November 9 I, as always, was going to sing protective mantras to protect him, turned on the Narasimha Maha Mantra, but I didn't want to send him protection. But I thought that Krishna told me to be with Shri Ram, no matter what, and I would protect him, even if he went somewhere to some brazen muzzle, another woman. I thought that if Krishna decided to take me away from Shri Ram, He will do everything himself, and not for me to decide.

And I was sending during Narasimha Kavacham my view on Shri Ram. But it went reverse wave, say, you and your protection I don't need, take it back and not have to think more in my direction. And some big transparent pillow was appeared, like an airbag covering him from me. I felt really bad about it. I felt like some an annoying, molesting hag. I stared at that transparent but completely covering pillow and I felt that I was humiliated in front of him. And then I thought, I don't care what he thinks, because for me the main authority is Krishna, and Krishna didn't tell me to leave him. And then I by volitional effort passed through the pillow and sent my ray to Shri Ram.

This situation was very painful for me. It was like I was imposing myself him. I felt like a chick clinging to the man. But to refuse the protecting Shri Ram I could not, as there were no signs for this. I'm used to relying on and trusting the signs of the Universe. Yes, it may be stupidity and complete irrationality, but this is my lifestyle. Called the efficiency of spontaneity. I was in such an uncomfortable, twofold situation for myself that I have to give him my protection, but he does not want to, because he has some kind of brazen muzzle there, that is another woman, because of which he does not even want to accept my protection. I am like Velcro, and he's squeamish moves away from me as from the toad in vile slime…

I felt very bad, and I didn't see any way out of this situation. I began to remember different situations from my life and thought that I didn't want anything like that anymore. In my imagination, I drew that brazen muzzle is beautiful, probably very feminine. Probably she is causing a man's desire to protect her, such a great value, and to shield from everything. Probably she is cultural, attractive... I did not understand how he could exchange me for some brazen face, although he saw in my life files us with him as a couple in our past lives. He saw how him recruited by the Asuras. He knew from session with pillow that I was offered another eternal couple, but I refused and did not leave him, although he became Asur.

And after I saved him from financial ruin, when he was with a beautiful, sophisticated, feminine woman in the summer of 2016, who believed that every woman is born to be happy and she is worth it. That woman didn't save him from collapse. I saved him. And then my Gurudev as my spiritual father offered Shri Ram me as his wife. And he accepted the offer. With all gravity. And after Shri Ram went to a deadly battle, when they put me on their Asuric totalizator. Then he went to certain death, not to give to them me.

How is it that he is after all this so easily and quickly left me because of a brazen muzzle? And his promise to me on February 14, 2017, on Valentine's Day? This is when I read a book by Boris Akunin «The Falcon and the Swallow» and by the words of that book Shri Ram said to me, “I will not do you any harm. You have my word as a gentleman. On the contrary, I am so grateful to you for your coming from nowhere to brighten up my loneliness. Trust me! Here is my hand. I will not abuse your trust. We are alone in this gloomy world, so let's stick together.”

After that, I wrote to Borka, a former leader of the Moscow asuric organization, that his life was ending, and then I began to record my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife” and I began my Mahabharata. How, after giving me his the word as a gentleman, did he break it? And he gave his consent to my Gurudev by accepting me as his wife. Doesn't that mean anything? But I had to cancel all the promises that he had made to the Asuras, because he was a man of his word and he had to keep his word. Shri Ram was known among the Asuras as a man of the word. And I told asuras that either they would cancel all the promises that Shri Ram had made to them, or I would cancel those asuras to whom he made his promises. No man, no problem. And they had to cancel all the promises that Shri Ram had made to them. And here he gave me his word as a gentleman.

How could he forget that so easily? From-for some brazen muzzle which was not. Which suddenly emerged from nowhere. I was very sad from the realization that he doesn't value me that some brazen muzzles were so good that he immediately left me. And my protection to him is no needed. But what about the fact that when his life was flying into the lurch and he almost became a beggar without a house and money, he was told that I am his only option in this life that other options are not provided for him? Because then Shiva told through the story of Chandradev that the curse because of the affront is not removed, that he should give status of the wife to the woman he took his wife.

It turns out that Shri Ram has forgotten about all this and he agrees to the collapse of his life, only to be with this brazen muzzle? It is clear that hormones hit the brain. And it is clear that you can't make your heart follow orders. But then why get married, if after any brazen muzzle all is forgotten? Alas, these depressing thoughts did not have improved my mood. And I was attacked by persistent depression.

And just at that time I was sending into their future lives different groups of the Asuras: charismatic personalities, then yoga-mystics, then with some special blessings, and then I opened the action-sale for everyone. In all that time I have yanked from asuric community many most powerful of the Asuras. And that, of course, they didn't like it very much. And at that time, Shri Ram had another woman, brazen muzzle. She very spoiled my overall emotional background, but I continued to do my job anyway. And even against that background, I was sending them even harder into that funnel-shaped vortex above. But my dignity as a woman and my feelings were severely infringed. And given the fact that I had no signs that I should get out of this situation, it became even more painful, because I had to be where I was not wanted. I felt like a forced masochist, because I could not be there, but I could not and leave, because I did not have permission for this.

On 8 November, I find out from my own words to my son that Shri Ram had a brazen muzzle, or another woman. November 10 was the next karate class at children. My son had a leg ache, but he still went to class. I also went with him to ask the coach not to load my son. I was waiting to be able to come up and say, but the coach did not stop for a minute, and then I went to him right during the study of technique. In fact, I wanted to get some tips from Shri Ram that I should think about the whole situation. Usually through this coach was always going communication with Shri Ram. I came specifically.

I interrupted his lesson and said that my son's leg hurts and asked coach not to overload my son, and he said that if it hurts, then we must double more work, they say, they have such a principle. If sore leg then work twice more. And I said that we have a different principle and left with nothing. Thinking about his double job, like I'm not the only one there, there are two of us. I began to guess on some oracles, there said to get out of an abusive situation. I went to pick up the kids after class. I look, and the coach put my daughter behind all, she even burst into tears. She always stood in the front row, but he defiantly told her to stand behind everyone.

I saw this as a hint of a clearly abusive situation. I was besieged, pointed to my true place, they say, I thought too much about myself. Like, you are not the only and not even the first. You are standing behind. Like this polygamous family turned out. I thought, but what about everything that happened before? I couldn't believe it, I thought it couldn't be true. I wanted, as always, to bury myself in my favorite pillow and cry into it, feeling him there, but I could not do it. If he has someone there, I thought, then I don't want to be in it. I can't even cry into the pillow. I thought that Shri Ram just putted me in front of the fact that if I'm with him, I have to fulfill his whims, so that he does not hurt there. And you get held hostage by his asuric temperament and wishes. But this does not suit me.

November 11 in the morning in the news feed in VKontakte I drew attention to the post of one of my friends. There was a red rose and the words «Goodbye and be happy». I remembered different situations from my life and thought that even if we have a long-distance interaction with Shri Ram, without his personal presence in my life, it still hurts. Such an attitude is like to the waste material: «Goodbye and be happy. If you can. I don't care anymore. Handle it yourself. We are now with each other nobody». I thought: thank you, should I be happy? But how? For what, who needs this? It is necessary to get used to the new realities of life. I do not understand how it happened and so suddenly, everything was good... Love, love…

Just before that, he told me a lot of good things, too, through different messages everywhere, and suddenly with him some brazen muzzle, who for him is the most expensive. But one plus in this I still found: it was not necessary to force myself to commit acts of family well-being, which, to be honest, I was pretty tired. I mean sex. You ask, what can be sex with man, which far from you and which you even not know in real life. But for Asuras there is no difference, sex with the contact of bodies, with personal presence or through distance, without contact of physical bodies, at the energy level. Asuras have the ability somehow to plug unto us and to enter into different objects. And in our case, sex was through my masturbation, in which he, being the Asur, somehow was present, I felt him and he felt me, although I was alone at this time. I haven't wanted to do this long ago. Masturbation is not such an interesting activity. But I was doing it to be with him. But still a very doubtful activity. It seems that there is sex, but it looks like a banal masturbation. Although the feeling of the real presence of a real man is real. But I didn't want to do it. And suddenly me all of this it looked? What if I made it all up? I haven't wanted to participate in this kind of sex for a long time, but Shri Ram was asking me to do it. And I thought it was good that appeared the brazen muzzle, now there is someone to satisfy his irrepressible sexual appetite. I with great relief put away the cream for acts of family well-being, took off all my rings that symbolize Shri Ram, changed avatars in different places of the Internet, signatures, and did everything to make me less reminders about it. I even stopped taking bath, because I was afraid to touch my body, knowing that he could be in my hands. And I went to sleep without hugging my favorite pillow. I couldn't even cry into my pillow. So sad was…

I thought that it was Shri Ram told me to get off my seat and to bring down on the bench, they say, I'm preventing them from having sex there, to him and that brazen muzzle, I break all the buzz to them. They say that I now became not a wife, but a third wheel, one that is wedged in someone else's relationship. On November 12, I felt female energy next to him. And I saw there that they had a good coupling, everything he needed. Just right. I saw her at the subtle, fine-material level, she was standing next to him, a feminine woman you want to protect and save from everything... Not like me. Finally, he will enjoy a real female, I thought. Not by that what I have. And they stand together, and there's nothing I can do. Just looking at them.

I thought: how should I be now? How do I get out of there? How am I supposed to live? How to live? I remembered those sessions with pillow in which such all-warming love was felt and words about love were poured. And also about how I was offered another man, at my choice, as my eternal couple, and I refused. I thought: I refused then, because I could not imagine someone else in his place, but how he could put in my place another? How dare the karate coach put my daughter behind everyone, thereby passing on to me the words of Shri Ram that I am not the only one and not the first? And then he threw me off my throne-horse, they say, I interfere them enjoy.

All this time I've been living with the feeling that he's my husband, but here he is with another woman. And she's so calm standing next to him. And he is with her. I'm not what he wanted me to be. He's there with her feels like a man. With me he did not feel himself a he-man. I do not suit him. I'm obviously not the woman he dreamed of. Probably, her house is clean and tidy, and she takes care of herself, dresses civilly, I thought. And my house is always dirty. And her speech is elegant and highly cultured, me until her as until Paris. And she is feminine, real woman. I am something between a woman and a man, something of the middle sex. And to be honest, there's more male quality in me than female. Maybe I'm not at all not really a woman, I thought. He is lucky. I should be happy, but I can't.

I thought I should have left him long ago. I didn't leave, thought he is my husband. It doesn't seem to mean anything to him. You see, for him life goes on. Apparently, I am some not so, I am defective second half. All people are normal, standard, and I am defective. Well, what can I do, from these lamentations life will not change, and I threw the call to the Universe, to all my Guardian angels, so they all helped me.

I'm as a wish-granting Genie, familiar with many of the universal Jinn, who all love me there, asked one of my friend the Genie to somehow help me. I also called Vovan, a character in Simoron, so he protected me. I told him that I, as always, will dance for him on the table with a flower in my teeth. And I asked the Universe to give me a very understandable sign, what should I think about all this humiliating and offensive situation, when I was thrown off my throne brazenly, although I always sat there and considered this place as my rightful place, and when I was sent to the bench.

And that same day, the Universe gave me a sign on this situation. In the news feed in VKontakte. The post of Sergey Vladimirovich Serebryakov, in which was written the following: «If you do something good, do not think that it will return to you exactly from that place. It can come from a completely different side. And can come in ten years. Or maybe in the next life. Time in space is different, we live very fast, and our life is very short. Any good deed will still remain with you, it is your wealth. Even if this person didn't appreciate what was done for him, it's not your problem, it's his problem. He's building up a reaction; he's not reacting to anything. You understand? And you earn a good fate. Just a person will come who will appreciate it all, or a situation will be created where it all will return to you. There is no doubt about it, so do not doubt that no one will appreciate the good, it is a mistake».

I took this post as an answer to my question, because I can not get out of this situation, we are an eternal couple, and I came to him in this life to give him a chance. I, how Moon around the Earth, fly, protect him from any attack, just because I approached him and can not break out of his field. I give him preemptive signs, guidance for himself, for his enrichment and for his asuric organization, which he leads, who there to bend, to whom what method to apply. The answer of the Universe was that you don't have to be greedy, that it's enough that I'm doing a good deed to help him. That if he doesn't understand a good attitude, for God's sake, it's his right.

Let him live as he wants. Our duty is to keep doing our duty. I remembered the 420^thseries from TV series «Devon Ke Dev Mahadev», where Shiva gave Ravana the sword Chandrahas and said that if Ravana will abuse that sword, it would return to Shiva. I thought that for some reason Krishna does not remove me out of the field of attraction of Shri Ram, means, I am needed for something, and if Shri Ram does not appreciate the good that I do to him, then it is not my problems, but his. I thought that I should destroy as many as possible Asuras, so that it was not in vain.

My inner gaze all the time was aimed somewhere inside, where was my Shri Ram with the brazen muzzle. She stood next to him so calmly, like she was his wife and I am a nobody... This picture was very depressing me, but I could not do anything. I could not get out of this shameful situation and I couldn't look away from there. Depression did not pass. She appeared so suddenly... nothing foretold that Shri Ram might even have someone there, but I am looking there, and there is another woman next to him, and he protects her, harbors, from me. Probably so I wouldn't do anything nasty to her. You see, I like to do nasty things to women like her. And now I'm told I'm the one who's disturbing others. «Get off your vaulting horse; you're preventing the children from studying».

I remembered how the master repaired my washing machine and told me about him that he had experienced three heart operations. It was told to me about Shri Ram. He experienced in this life three «heart surgery», three painful divorces for him. He was worried about the guarantees, they say, what guarantees I can give him that there will not be another «heart surgery», but now because of me. And what did he do? At the very beginning of our interaction with him at a distance he was pressing me, trying to put me under his associates from his asuric organization. He influenced my women's centers activating at my body estrus mode, like at dogs, in order to turn me into a female individual who could not withstand his pressure. Then I told him that I no longer want to be in the material world.

I was so sad at the thought that my man, whom I felt mine, forcibly tried to lay down me under other men, Yes, through distance, without contact of physical bodies, at the energy level, but the essence of something does not change. And then I told him he is my Tiramisu, raise me to heaven. That I had no desire to go into the spiritual world, but now this desire is there. And then he wept and asked to show him mercy. He was lying. He all lied. He doesn't care at all. He's just like everybody else. And now he's protecting someone else's woman from me, from his own woman. And he throws me away to other men. That kind of love... But the fact that there is no need to provide him my regular orgasms, pleased. She probably satisfies him as he want. Not like me. That's why he's so anxious to keep her from me.

I remembered that dream in the spring of 2014, when he found me in the sleep territory and gently hugged me and asked questions. And now he embraces her so carefully and gently. I guess that's then he thought I am like her. But it turns out I'm not. I'm not what he expected me to be. And I can be hit like this without mercy? Then why did you come to me in the sleep territory? When I led the children on karate, I opened the door for myself, but I had to let the girl pass ahead. As is symbolic…

After class, the kids told me to go to the store together. I said no, but they said, «We are two, and you are one, so let's go to the store». And the acquaintance standing there confirmed: «Two against one». All this did not give me confidence and did not give me a good mood. Absolutely understandable signs. Shri Ram has another woman. And I'm in such a humiliating position. There's nothing I can do. And I see that he still plugged unto me, that through me is borne the flow of preemptive signs to him, and I'm on the bench. I can't get out of there. Yes, the Universe has given me a sign that I must continue to do my duty. But I couldn't understand who the woman was, how could he have someone? Because I saw so much, had a lot of sessions with pillow with flowing all-encompassing love. And the words «a loved, my loved». But somehow he is not mine anymore.

I thought: is it possible that the man who's mine could have someone else? And that I was on the backside, and she was with him, under his protection. I wanted to look at this situation through the eyes of Metaphorical associative cards, and I pulled a single card to this situation. On the map was drawn a couple in the boat. A man and a woman holding hands and rowing each with their paddle. They are swimming along the river past an empty city with a destroyed bridge over the river above them. And their boat rushes to the waterfall that came into view in my imagination right on the river.

This picture showed me that there is no third. After all, I thought about me and him when I was pulling out a map. And in this picture it was shown that we are a couple. But we are swimming into the whirlpool of the waterfall and there is nothing we can do about it. From this I concluded that the woman is not his, that she herself somehow appeared, but he has nothing to do with her. We're together. We are floating on the river of life, in the material world. And this river is so insidious that it seems that it is calm, but in fact, at any moment you can be in a whirlwind that will carry you far away and can scatter any pair in different directions.

In those days, my son came from school one day and said that his teacher told him that he will attend either the post-school or karate class. Previously, she did not put such ultimatums, and then suddenly such a choice. And the son said that he did not know what to do, and I told him that I am his mother, that I decide what classes he will attend, because all classes are paid and I pay for everything. I thought it was that woman told Shri Ram that either she or I and apparently he must have made a choice in her favor.

At that time there was one conversation with a neighbor. It was November 14, got cold. She said that to her apartment were coming mechanics of the housing Department. They said her that it is necessary to change the old radiators that do not heat, on new. They said her that for this she will have to pay the entire pension, all the money. She was asking me how to live after that, completely without money? And I told her I was in the same position. I have a father now. And even though he lives far away from me, if necessary, he comes and helps me. But when he is gone, how will I live alone? For all to pay it myself and ask other people to help.

I thought it was about him and me. I'm the old radiator that does not warm him. And he took a new radiator that warms. But he has to pay all the money for her, that is, give me away. And how will he live without me now? And I told him that, they say, at present I have you, you are my man, Yes, you are far away, we are now interacting with you like this, at a distance, but when you will not be with me and I will be alone, then how will I live, alone? That is, he, knowing that I am his woman, refuses me and is with a strange woman to him, and gives me to strangers, strange men.

When he was recruited by the Asuras, he didn't know anything, but now he knows everything. He saw everything in my life files and in the sessions with pillow, he knows that we are a real eternal couple. And now he consciously throws me out on the street, so I went to ask for someone else's men, and he will be with someone else's women. And everything suits him? And he looks at it calmly? He does not care? He does not care that he drives me, his woman, to other men to bow, humiliate, ask, and be superfluous?

I thought Prabhu Sasha, a senior devotee of Krishna from the Soviet times, from Tallinn, was right when he told me that I had come to Shri Ram in vain. But at the same time and for good reason. I told him the truth about us with him and now he needs to make an informed choice. I came to give him a chance. I a lot of lives was at the service in our command of forces of light and was destroying the universal criminals. I have seen many things and I have not wanted to be here in the material world already long time ago, but there was no real opportunity to escape from here, but then Srila Prabhupada came, and I saw from there, from those high spheres a real chance to leave the material world and return to the spiritual world.

But before embarking on this path, before leaving here and leaving my eternal couple without myself, without my presence in the material world, I decided to come to him. I decided to appear to him, to open to him everything about us with him, about me and give him a choice: either he will be with me, and he will cease to be Asur and we will go with him to Krishna and we together will return to the spiritual world, either he will not come to me and he will remain an asur, because the Asuras can do a lot and so he will always remember me, he will know, that he had a real eternal couple, but I will not with him, because Krishna will tear this eternal bond with him and I will forget him completely, as if he never existed. And now he knows all this and let him decide what is more dear to him and what his way is. Now he will choose: I and a return with me to the spiritual world, or the incessant series of women who are not waiting for him and will never wait, because no one is waiting for that Arjuna, because only his eternal couple, that is me, can wait for him.

This situation did not let go, the tension was kept, and I decided to look again at the Metaphorical associative cards. I clicked on one map about this situation. There was a picture on which a woman looks at the big heart from the front above, in which a man and a woman sit hugging, tightly clinging to each other, and the woman clasped the man with her feet, and they look each other in the eye.

I thought: it is me who constantly looks at them on my internal screen, at my Shri Ram with that woman, and he's out there protecting her from me, just trembles over her. And I've had signs come out a few times that he's been asking me not to touch her, so that I don't hurt her and her hot radiators with which he feels so nice and good. I thought, she is a very good woman, if he trembles over her. Probably in sex, too. Trembles. Over her. With me he did not trembled, but with her trembles.

His dreams came true. And he asks me not to touch her or even look at her, so she is dear to him. How did it happen that she appeared so unexpectedly? Again I do not take a bath. I don't remember the last time I bathed. I'm dirty, unwashed. Apparently, until now he was pushing me have a bath, pressing on my consciousness to touch me through my hands, but now he doesn’t need it. Probably now he is pressing on her consciousness, pushing her to take a bath to touch her body through her hands. Although, she may be neat, she herself takes a bath with pleasure; it does not need impact from the outside. Yes, I thought, probably, then he left me as a woman when I stopped bathing.... When was that? I can't remember this. Just like a fog.... Well, it is clear that he needs me as a driver, charioteer, giving him preemptive signs. I am useful, in sight. Of course I am useful.

I looked at the screenshots from the TV series «Mahabharata», which I saved specifically for the signs of the Universe, for him including, something about 2,000 pieces which randomly changed each other on my computer desktop, and sat down to remove those signs that can relate to his activities, leaving only my signs. But among my signs were clues for him.... I continued to hear that through me there is a continuous stream of preemptive signs for him. It was depressing. Then Fedka, who is a rag, God's gift, whom Shri Ram once plugged unto me and which was ensuring the stability of our interaction with Shri Ram and thanks to which those sessions with pillow became possible, was manifested on my inner screen. He let me know that he doesn't just work because he has to, but he loves me. But that didn't calm me down.…

I kept looking and looking at them there on my inner screen. With her he is a real man, he-man, shivers over her, surrounded her with his wings on all sides. I'm completely different, I'm not like that. I am not a woman. I am a warrior in a skirt. And she is a woman, a real woman. Not like me. She is feminine. She is definitely not a warrior. I decided to finish recording my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife” so that nothing else would remind me of him. I decided to remove all the music that I started listening to when he came to me. God, I thought, how am I going to be without my favorite music?

«Enya — Only Time» — and I think of him as he told me that I can tune in to him... «Patrick Bernhardt — Shiva Shakti. Svadhisthana» — and I think of him that we are an eternal couple. He's my Shiva and I'm his Shakti. «Uma Mohan — Mahalakshmi Suktam» — and I think of him, about blessing of Lakshmi to conjugal fidelity to him as to my husband. «Khaled — Aisha» — and I think of him as I look through the eyes of Aisha loving her sultan, and think, «I love this man».

«Manish Vyas — Tumi Bhaja Re Mana» — and I think of him as I have long since, without even knowing he exists, cried while listening to this mantra. «Haddaway — I Miss You» — and I think of him, remembering that longing for someone I felt through space somewhere far away many years ago... «Sri Sri Radha-Kripa-Kataksha Stava Raja» performed by Sri Prahlada — and I think of him, as we with him conceived our children who were born to some other people I don't know... And now it all will have to be removed. It's like tearing a heart out of chest.

And my favorite rings... The ring Tiramisu, ring of three stripes, the bottom stripe is Shri Ram, the middle stripe is I, the top stripe, the special, is Krishna. Tiramisu: «tira mi sù» means «pull me up». Take me to heaven. This ring came to me on the anniversary of Shri Ram coming to me. The ring Lakshmi, the heart in the heart, the blessing of Lakshmi, the day after receiving which on Govardhana Puja he had a battle at the subtle level where he was to be killed, but he even won... The ring Shri Ram... The ring on the index finger of my right hand... Rectangular, very elegant and beautiful ring. It is a symbol of the fact that he took initiation at my Gurudeva Indradyumna Swami on the day after the battle, and he received his spiritual name through me — Shri Ram... Pearl ring between ring Lakshmi and ring Tiramisu, on the left hand... when he corrected some of the energy flows at me, a blessing on family well-being…

The ring Maha Shivaratri, on the right little finger, March 8, 2016, on the night of Maha Shivaratri, Shiva himself gave it to me, Shri Ram and I were already tied together by Nrisimhadev at that memorable heavenly wedding from March 3 to March 4, 2016... Shiva's blessing. And the ring Ram, on the right ring finger. Now this finger is not nameless, now it has a name — Ram. It's on Rama Navami... How I felt sorry for the rings... I was not so sorry for the rest, as I was a pity for these rings. My favorite rings... How will I be without my rings? I already feel bad without my rings, I thought. Shri Ram is cruel. He is heartless. He is ruthless. He is a soulless man. Without heart and nerves. With a dick between his legs.

I asked about this situation of the Twins Uralian Oracle, and I got the answer, at the very beginning of divination and black/black. This is extremely rare. «Bad omen! Nothing good will come to you. Ahead at you a confluence of hostile, adverse circumstances, unpleasant emotions. Useless life experience, which is better to avoid. You are mistaken, hoping to win something. No matter what you do, you're unlikely to get a positive result. It is best to abandon the action altogether — after all, it can be just dangerous. Key words: threat, difficult situation, mistakes, losses, there is no way out. And here you are destined: anxiety, anger, regret».

Reading this, I thought: how do I get out of this? I cleaned away everything I could so that nothing reminded me of Shri Ram. The whole day I cleaned the folder with screenshots from tv series «Mahabharata», leaving a minimum screenshots, only for myself. Before going to bed, you could hear the neighbors behind the wall having sex. And even that reminds me of him, I thought. But I can not remove it in any way. The woman groans voluptuously, there, behind the wall, and I think of Shri Ram. Probably, and this woman in a sex is excellent, that it is necessary. I'm celibate now. I'm not going to do this with another man. Now he's not mine, and I can't be with him because he's not mine anymore. Masturbate? What for? I'm still going to think about him, but it's forbidden, because he's not mine anymore. I have no right to think in sex, in masturbation about the man who is not mine. And if I start doing that, I'll automatically think about him. And if he's not there, who's there? Who? Someone else? I don't want other men. Well, at least this woman is doing well. Thank God someone's having a good time, I thought.

Everything that could be removed, that somehow reminded me of Shri Ram, I removed. At some point I called the karate coach and asked his opinion. I did not go into details, I just said that I have a relationship at the subtle, fine-material level and the situation there has worsened. And I said the word clearly characterizing the situation. I said in Russian, «ситуация усугубилась» («the situation has worsened»). The word «усугубилась» («aggravated»). «Усугубилась» = «у-су-губи-лась» = «у-су-губы-лась». In Russian «су» can mean «together», the word «губы» («lips») indicates a woman, as a woman has lips both above and below, labia. That is, with this word, I said Shri Ram through coach that the situation has worsened, he is now together («су») with another, with a woman (with «губы», lips that are below, labia), and asked what he thinks about all this.

I told the coach that I don't want to be in this position and I want to get out of there, but I can't, and I asked for some advice. In fact I wanted to hear what Shri Ram would tell me through this coach. The coach told me that fight fire with fire, that in order not to have a relationship at the subtle, fine-material level, you have to get out of the comfort zone and go to the unknown, to find another man. Like, go join a Dating site or something, for a start, take a walk there, maybe someone will like me. I told him that I didn't want to meet anyone and that I didn't need any such relationship. I told him that I wanted to end the relationship at the subtle, fine-material level and I do not need this crap at all.

110 at 11:15, 112 at 06:00, 113 at 01:53, 114 at 00:14, 115 at 03:48, 116 at 03:05.

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