Session with pillow «I anywhere will not throw you»

I thought that Shri Ram was wrong to tell me all this through the coach, because where should I go, to whom? When I know that there not my, and other men, and my man is Shri Ram. I decided that even if he wants me to leave and be with someone else, I won't do it, that I have only one way: it`s to get away from him completely and go to Krishna. I asked Saint Matrona the Wonderworker of Moscow to help me. I also decided to finish recording my novel, my video. I was very sad, and on November 16 before going to bed I wanted to cry to him, in pillow, as I did before, to bury myself in it and pour out all my tears. I could not stand it and did it. I hugged the pillow.

And it suddenly turned on. Sessions with pillow. It's been a long time since he and I had sessions with pillow. After Shri Ram assigned to me four wolfhounds in January 2017 after I freed one of their women from the low-lying nature, because of which she was their non-contact whore at the energy level, more sessions with pillow we have with Shri Ram was not. True, in September there was one session with pillow, but it was not our session with Shri Ram, but session with pillow of the Shepherd (The Shepherd, I do not love you) with his eternal couple, the so-called Panchali. And suddenly, when I hid away all reminding me about Shri Ram, deciding to completely finish with him, I could not stand it and hugged the pillow-Roma.

And then it began... «Loved, loved, my loved, I love you, you're my love, how much I love you, how I love you»... In the chest was such a clot of love, somewhere deep inside, such a condensed concentrated love... I so wanted to dive there and let it out, but I was afraid that if it opens, I can not stand it and immediately come out of the body. There were words about love, and then suddenly went quite another: «Why are you not with me?» The bloc with these words lasted long, and after there was a pause and other bloc: «I do not believe you. This can't be». When this bloc ended, I thought that I told him «why are you not with me», he answered me something there, but I can not hear it here, but at the same time I answered him by words that I do not believe him, this can not be.

I was so intrigued, I thought: what did he say to me there, to which I replied that I did not believe him, this can not be? I began to pray to Krishna, «Krishna, I so want to know what he said to me there, to which I answered him with these words». I begged Krishna so fervently: «Krishna, please help me. Please help me, please. I so want to know what he told me there». And again from me began poured a stream of words. This time the words were very different. This time Shri Ram was saying through me. The first words were «люби́ма» («loved» — feminine word). Before that came the words «любимый, мой любимый» («loved, my loved» — masculine word), and suddenly «люби́ма» («loved» — feminine word). In Russian this word refers to a woman. By this word called a woman, not a man. When is spoken to a man, in Russian they usually say «любимый», and here was the word «люби́ма». This is a word of female, this word is spoken only to a woman. But I pronounced this «люби́ма», and so I understood that it is Shri Ram telling me. I only pronounce these words. I pronounce what he said somewhere far away at his home.

This in our sessions with pillow never happened. And that I am loved ( «люби́ма») was repeated and repeated, and after went words, that I am loved. «My loved, you are my loved, you are my loved woman»... I was uttering these words and listen to them like a wonderful song. Then he began to say these words: «I will not throw you. I anywhere will not throw you. I will not let you go anywhere. You're mine. You will be mine» ( «Я тебя не брошу. Я тебя никуда не брошу. Я тебя никуда не пущу. Ты моя. Ты будешь моя».). These words comforted me, so lulled that I am very well, quietly fell asleep. It was November 16, and about the appearance of the brazen muzzle I learned on 8 November. It's only been eight days, but as if eternity flew by.

The next morning I got up and started to remember those words. I thought it was some weird wording: «I anywhere will not throw you». I would never say that, I would say «I will never leave you» ( «Я тебя никогда не брошу»), and here «I anywhere will not throw you» ( «Я тебя никуда не брошу»). In Russian, these two phrases are identical: «Я тебя не брошу» and «Я тебя никуда не брошу», only the word «никуда» (“anywhere”) is added in the second phrase. And because of this one word, such different meanings come out. I thought that I perceived this phrase «I will not throw you» as «I will not let you out of my hands, I will not let you go, I will not open my hands so that you do not fly away». But if there is the word «anywhere», then there is clearly an active, forward movement. «I will never leave you» ( «Я тебя не брошу») — this is passive: he opened his hands, and it flew away. And «I anywhere will not throw you» ( «Я тебя никуда не брошу») — it's like you take a stone in your hands, going strong and throw it somewhere, aiming at what target you need to hit.

And I thought that he can me throw around somewhere, in someone, to fit to me a guy, press on consciousness, and I will fly in that guy, as the stone that is thrown with acceleration. Well, well! I didn’t know what this could mean, I thought. He anywhere will not throw me. Did he want to? Was he going to do that? Chuck me into someone that I could be with someone? He also said «I will not let you go anywhere». Everywhere he decides whether to kick me out or not.

I mean, I realized that he said to me, «I decided not to push you out. Sit here». Well, thanks, of course I thought. But also there was «Love, I love you so much»... such love there was... «You're my beloved woman». But I'm still here alone. All alone. And I feel so bad... And when I look at him on my inner screen, I see another woman with him. They are together. And I'm on the sidelines. I was thrown off my throne and sent to the bench. The situation where my man is with someone out there, not me, and I'm sitting in the backyard, is very uncomfortable for me. I'm very uncomfortable with this. Or does he think that I don't respect myself so much, that I agree to be in this position, in order only with him? Because everyone else is another's and he's mine? But how did mine become with someone else? How can mine, who tells me «You're mine», be with another woman instead of me? And me? What about my feelings, my self-respect? Or am I nobody?

He anywhere will not throw me. Not «I'll never leave you», and «I anywhere will not throw you». Some kind of throwing in the target. Took me in hand, swung, aimed and chucked. And see if there's a coupling. Yeah, there's a coupling, she's got a guy, thank God. A woman with a cart — the mare is easier. Such sense. And he told me he anywhere will not throw me. He won't shoot me at anyone. That's good. Thank you. But I thought: I am his woman, and he could throw me at someone? He could have given his woman to someone else's man? With the power? How sad that I live in a world where my man can throw me to an alien man.…

From these thoughts you want to lie down, sleep and not think about anything. But you have to live, you have to earn money, I thought. My birthday is coming up. Fifty years. Roma made a good gift to me for my 50 years — threw me off a pedestal... And how I can to respect myself if I keep being with him when he's with the other woman? Then other thoughts came to me: first he said «I will not throw you», and then «I anywhere will not throw you». I thought, «I will not throw you» might mean handing you over to some male and being present invisibly.

That is, he will force me to leave to another man. Some man will come to me or somehow will appear in my life, I will be in real life with that man, and Shri Ram will be invisibly present, as if to look after me. Like, although you will be with another man, but I will still be invisibly with you, I will not leave you anyway. That is, the phrase «I will not throw you» could have been understood that I will be with someone, but he will not leave me anyway and will invisibly be with me. And then he said otherwise, with a different formulation, refined, so I did not doubt: «I anywhere will not throw you». That is, he will not throw me to other men, will not force me to be with others, will not press on my consciousness and will not force me to think that it is necessary to find some male individual here, in real life, so at least someone was…

But Shri Ram, in the words «I anywhere will not throw you», specified that he will not force me to be with others. «Nowhere, into nothing, into anyone I will not abandon». He won't give me to anyone. Then «I will not let you go anywhere», that is, «If you want to escape somewhere, then no, no, do not even think». And then he said, «You're mine. You will be mine». When I deciphered these phrases in this way, I was so angry at that Shri Ram, and I thought, «You are manipulator. I don't believe you not a bit».

But, as I love this, I turned to one online Oracle, and I was told there that this person can be trusted, I can rely on him, he cares for me and will act with love. I was told to trust him. Confide in him. I thought, «Krishna, are You asking me to trust him, this Shri Ram?» I said: «Krishna, I am not ready for this, because how can I trust someone who put me in such a humiliating position, who does not like me at all». But Shri Ram manipulated my consciousness and gave me the idea that the style of my work is trust. I work on trust. All customers at my work are on trust.

I understand that I, as an inspector of Universe Patrol, I am guided in my activity by the principle of trust. I come like a little mouse, innocent, trusting, sincere, and I trust people. And in accordance with how people use my trust, such reactions they get. And Shri Ram gave me an idea, they say, «Try, as you always do, trust. And then we will see»... I thought it was a sensible idea. I thought that normal people would say that it was totally irrational, that it was masochism, stupidity, naivety, and Srila Prabhupada said that women are so stupid that they let smart men fool themselves. And I agree with his words.

I thought: I don't want to be a stupid woman who lets a man fool herself. Shri Ram is so smart, so smart to say, «I anywhere will not throw you». And he said to me, «Well, turn on your principle of trust, you always works on trust, please», and I said to him, «Well, Shri Ram, so be it».

The evening of 17 November, on Friday, I called the karate trainer about my son. His leg ached even more, and I decided not to send him to class, especially since they have such a principle that if it hurts, the work is twice as much. And the son after the class complained that the coach is very loaded him, and the leg began to hurt even more. I called, said that because of his cruel principle, I will not let my son go. After that I realized what I said to Shri Ram through these words to the coach. I told Shri Ram that it had been so long since he and I had an act of family well-being, and I missed him so much and I want sex with him but because he with another woman, I refuse to do it, even though I want to. I mean, I told him I wouldn't let him have our legal family sex, even if it was like that, at a distance. How amazing it is that people living here like normal people can even have sex with each other from a distance…

It was not enough that I said all this to the coach on the phone, I went to find out personally, eye to eye. Well, I'm such a brawler. I came to him and say, that you can after all, and a gentle mode to include for such cases, and not to miss classes, and not to worsen the situation. Coach there's something mumbled, and then said that on the street in three times more. The coach meant that hard in training, easy in battle, that no one was sparing on the street, the load there is much more. I went home and I think that this Shri Ram should perform his conjugal duties. He obliged. He's my husband. A husband has to take care of his wife, protect her, in sex too. If the wife needs to satisfy sexual desire, the husband has to do it. But since he's with someone else, I can't let him in. Sex will not be.

I told the karate coach I will not let my son go to class. Because the principle is brutal: twice as much work. I said to Shri Ram: «I'm sorry, dear; you have to fulfill your family duties, your marital duty. We have equal rights. But, because you have twice more work, this brazen muzzle is standing there beside you, I can't afford to happen. Sex will not be. There you already have a good brazen muzzle, and you have sex with her, and I won't give you sex». And he told me through the words of the coach said that the street is three times that, they say, she is three times better than me. And I thought, is he a fool, so stupid, telling me that the brazen muzzle is three times better than me, his legitimate wife, eternal couple, or did he say so specifically to make me angry? In order to I wanted to continue to record my video of my novel «My Roman. I’m asur’s wife».

And then I thought I wouldn't leave Shri Ram, that I would take advantage of this situation. In our interest. I was told to trust him, I decided to trust him. And I decided: because of the Asuras, I, being his wife, having the right to meet my needs, was deprived of this, because he has another woman, because he does not come to me for some reason because he became Asur. Yeah, let's make lemonade out of lemons. Every time I have to satisfy my needs, and I can't do it, because he has someone, and he has a duty to perform, I will remove the Asuras wholesale, cruel and merciless. Because everything has to be paid for, including this.

And I said to asuras, «Honey asuras, you're in big trouble. Because every time Shri Ram has to fulfill his conjugal duty, you will pay for what he has become Asur and does not perform his duty as it should. I will destroy anyone who I come across». And when I came home, I immediately went to wash dishes and very cruelly destroyed that group of Asuras who volunteered and who came to my action-sale, which I declared to them for two weeks, and I immediately recorded the 116^th series. Early you, Asuras, relaxed, I thought. I will destroy you many more because I love you, for breakfast and lunch.

I decided that the next, whom I brutally will expunge, would be those Asuras from the Moscow, whose, when I was still in Moscow, together with Borka, a former leader of the Moscow asuric organization, plugged unto me and had me in sex at the energy level, pumped my feminine energy and my pious merits out of me on a regular basis, through distance, without contact of physical bodies, at the energy level. I remembered that time that with me that Borka made, and decided that all those who though somehow then was involved in that, will be severely punished by me. After some time I, of course, expunged them, quickly and ruthless, at the mood, as always.

On November 17 my son together with his class went on an excursion to the Philharmonic. And coming from there, he brought me a flyer. I have long been accustomed to pay attention to everything that comes to me one way or another, and I thought: and what if some important information is revealed to me through this flyer? There was a picture of a beautiful woman on the flyer, and I thought it was a sign about woman who has been standing next to Shri Ram for ten days on fine-material level on my inner screen. I very carefully studied the flyer, has opened Yandex to read about the meaning of the name of the woman (Ilona) in this flyer, and then in the 116^th series I told all I managed to extract of this little leaf. Information for reflections it turned out abound.

Yandex showed that this woman, Ilona, is the winner of the international competitions, plays the organ. I went through all the links with mention about her and found out that she studied abroad from her childhood with the venerable eminent masters of organ playing, that she was the inspirer and organizer of some major projects around the world. In the 116^th series, based on this booklet, I began to tell the Asuras in their allegorical language about this brazen muzzle, drawing a parallel between the woman depicted on this piece of paper and the brazen muzzle, who continued to sit with my Shri Ram.

I started with the value of the name Ilona, which opened to me in the very first link in Yandex. I said, first of all, Ilona is Lona, that's a shortened version of that name. In Russian the word «Лона» is heard as «лоно», and the Russian word «лоно» means «vagina». Lona is the female genital organ. That is, this brazen muzzle, that sits with my Shri Ram — is a woman, I said. And she is a woman on those levels, where vagina. She is a laureate of international organ competitions. An organ is a musical instrument. But another meaning of the Russian word «орган» is the organ of the body. And on what the organ of the body can play a woman, vagina? A woman's vagina could play on male genitals, on the penis. She’s a Pro on game on male organ, penis, and the pros of international scale.

She studied this art from the very childhood and now she is touring all over the world. She's barnstormer. This woman, with whom my Shri Ram is standing together and whom he protects from me, this Lona, is special on game on male organ, penis, so say, she pros highest qualifications, international level, tours around the world. She is so cool that this Shri Ram is shaking over her and shuts her off from me and begs me not to even look at her so that nothing there is damaged. She has so a high level in playing on the male organ, penis.

She has such a high level that he trembles over her, and he is a great Asur, he has seen many women in his lifetime, but over her he trembles, in sex. Few such women meet, even at asuras, because she is a Pro. She has no status of wife, as she is a Pro of play on the organ, penis. She is high-level professionals, I can't keep up with her, I thought. She is cute, and highly cultured, educated, all configured to the pleasure of the senses, subtle way. Then I began to talk about the meaning of the name of the woman in booklet, in flyer opening through my words the essence of the woman who became with Shri Ram, the essence of this brazen muzzle.

In Yandex in the very first link with the meaning of the name of Ilona was written that Ilona means «torch», that she lights up quickly, burns bright and then quickly goes out, and then lights up only from the next. And when she goes to the next, the next torch lights up, she forgets everything that was before, completely, her memory is erased. Everything that was before the new torch, which was lit on the new client, all erased, completely. It`s a professional qualification. I can't keep up with someone so sophisticated. And Shri Ram told me through the words of the karate coach that there is three times more on the street. Not three times, 23 times more than me, a million times more, because she is high quality professional in this activity, she has special expertise, special programs, and all the parameters of her body, all her options and characteristics are tuned to this.

Such a confident, such a well-groomed, refined nature, Shri Ram loves such refined, well-groomed women, I thought. No wonder he shakes at her, she's Lona, master of play on the organ, penis. Anyone out there would tremble, not only Shri Ram. As soon as the torch goes out, and it can't help but go out, because it's a torch, there's a new one right there, next one. The next torch lights up and burns fun and bright, and everything that's been before it is erased, as if nothing was there and won't. And I can't compete with her and don't want to. And to what it is, because she now lit torch, but then the burning will stop and will lit only with the following and about Shri Ram she will forever forgotten as if him never happened, at all, ever, I said to the Asuras in the 116^thseries.

On November 17, in the 116^th series, I commented the booklet that my son brought to me from their school excursion to the Philharmonic. I went to Yandex, trying to find some clues that pointed to the true nature of the woman that Shri Ram had been with for ten days. I told a lot of interesting things about this woman, drawing parallels between booklet and her. Asuras immediately figured out, that to what. It's up to me not at once reached, but they immediately have understood the meaning of the words. They saw the danger to themselves and went to look for confirmation of my words. And of course they found it.

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