The true story of my births as Mata Hari

On May 22, 2017, I recorded the 6^th series of my novel, in which I told how I gave Shri Ram access to my vital files on March 3, 2016, after which he came to me on some invisible level and kept saying «Be my wife, become my wife» and we had some kind of the heavenly wedding. In this 6^th series of my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife”, I said that I gave him access not to all my vital files, that there are a lot more files that are closed from him. And on these words came out the screenshot, where Arjuna stands in front of Draupadi and asks for something.

That same day, Shri Ram got access to those my vital files and immediately got in there and started watching everything. What he saw stunned him, because there were files with the time when I was coming to them in the asuric worlds like Mata Hari many, many lives in a row and was destroying the strongest asuras. Then, in the 7^th series, I told him to not abuse his position and never crossed his borders, and that more I shall not warn him. And then I somehow allegorically in a stream of my words and through my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife” began to blackmail him so he opened to me that he saw there.

He hesitated for a long time, but I pressed him well, and by June 8, he opened me some of what he saw in those of my life files, what I immediately told the world in the 13^th series, namely that I many incarnations was born in the Asuric worlds to kill the strongest Asuras. But how exactly did I do it, he didn't tell me. After that I began my Mahabharata to destroy the asuras. I have removed many of the Asuras and the queue for elimination reached the man-asur, who many lives back got carried away with me and wanted to deprive me of my husband's protection to have sex with me. And for this, he lured my husband, Ram, into asuras.

In the 39^th series of my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife”, I told about him, and then pointed at him to the asuras and gave him to them for punishment. They emptied out all his brains, extracted from him all his vital files, and Shri Ram himself, by his own eyes saw in those vital files how he was recruited to the asuras. Shri Ram saw what tricks they were using for this. He saw how it all happened. On July 16, 2017, in the 41^st series of my novel, I told about it. Then I expunged teacher of Shri Ram, cancelled all the promises he had ever made to any of the asuras, and demanded that he reveal to me the secret of how I was killing those asuras and why, when I many lives was born in the asuric worlds.

Shri Ram didn't want to reveal it to me in any way. He remembered that I did when I also put the squeeze on him and he revealed to me, how he was recruited to the asuras and what tricks of the asuras there proved successful. I then cruelly dealt with the woman-asuri, who for successful recruitment was seducing him with her charms, her well-honed technique of luring stupid men and her supposedly feminine, embodying the ideal, what should be a woman in the eyes of men. After that I have done away with the craftsman, who actually conducts the procedure of converting my Ram to the asur, and with him I destroyed the rest craftsmans. And what emotions did I experience then...

Shri Ram remembered everything and didn't want to subject me to a flurry of new similar emotions, as they inevitably would. But I insisted and insisted. For example, in the 87^th series of my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife”, I began to talk about all this. That he and I were a couple during many, many lives in the material world, and then he became asur, and I looked for him between lives, but he was not anywhere. And then some personalities came to me between lives and showed me him, already as asur.

I was told that I will not be able to be with such man and they offered their help to break our connection forever. They gave me a choice of good men as my new couple, because in my original swarup, position in the spiritual world, I am wife, I am in a couple. And I definitely need my couple. But I refused, went dancing the dances of devotion to the deities on the higher planets, I fell in love for the Deity of Nrisimhadev and became His wife. And then Nrisimhadev began to fulfill my desires, one of which was to personally avenge the asuras for the fact that they tore off my eternal husband from me. And I began to come to them in the asuric worlds in the role Mata Hari and destroy the strongest asuras.

All this I told again in the 87^th series of my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife”, and then added that I do not know what was going on there and why and so I have nothing more to tell in this my novel and will have to complete my broadcasting. Shri Ram did not like my statement. I blackmailed him in and other ways. He reluctantly, but told me that there was actually. As always, he somehow little by little was opening my mind, as if putting in it the awareness of those past events. What I found out shocked and stunned me to the depths.

I already knew that I many times was born in asuric worlds and killing there the strongest asuras, but then Shri Ram opened to me such that plunged me into the abyss of sorrowful emotions. I told about all this in the 92^nd series of my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife”, October 4, 2017. That afternoon, I was greatly regretted that I am completely useless for Krishna consciousness and could not help him in any way. I thought that I could take more asuras with extraordinary abilities and skills, burn out all the asuric nature from them and send them to their future lives to serve Krishna consciousness, the mission of Srila Prabhupada, ISKCON with the help of their extraordinary abilities that they have developed as asuras and that they will carry with them to their future.

I did not know whom I will include in this action, but that evening Shri Ram helped me in this. He revealed to me what happened to me when I was coming to them in the asuric worlds many incarnations as Mata Hari. He revealed to me that in those asuric worlds I every incarnation became the wife of the most powerful and prominent asur, which was not access to anyone. Somehow he was noticing me, he was very attracted to me. I had such a appearance, such a character, such a set of qualities as he liked, and he could not help but fall for me, because everything was thought out to the smallest detail before my birth in that body.

I was such an irresistible dart, whose hit can not be reflected. Such a hundred-percent hitting the target. In me everything was provided for this asur to fall in love with me. He brought me closer to him and fell in love with me. Me too. I loved him really, truly, selflessly, with all my heart. He, too, was in love with me wholeheartedly, because I am Vinodavani, the personified love for God, and I have a specification to enable and kill the love. And at him, of course, I initiate d love, and he could not resist it. He and I were becoming a couple.

We had a great love together, present love. It was fine. But at some stage, situations were created that pushed him to what all asuras love — to sexual orgies. But since I was faithful and chaste in nature and would never agree to that, he did some kind of manipulation with me, so that I did not realize the reality and was as if under the influence of either some spells, or some substances that fog the consciousness, but liberating sexually. And he was giving me to his friends for their sexual pleasures with me in the lead role.

This my husband-asur continued to love me, but even before my appearance in his life, he already loved such orgies and did not consider it something shameful, and the more deliberately the situation was developing in such a way as to warm up in him this desire, in order to he could not resist this longstanding addiction suddenly emerged from nowhere. And he with his cronies together were introducing me to some state that I was not aware of reality and was sexually liberated, and they engaged in sexual orgies with me, when I confident that with me is my beloved husband. And so was many times.

When I was starting to realize reality, he was acting like it was nothing, like it was just the two of us. But from time to time I came across evidence of this, or something was felt in the body, he said that all this seems to me. But I thought I was just imagining it, but in fact I was given signs. And I also had visions of myself in those orgies, as if I was an observer, like it`s to me was being shown everything that was going on there. But at some point Krishna was taking off my veil of ignorance. It was always during normal marital sex.

He and I had sex, I was on top, and right during these movements, in front of my inner gaze the pictures of those orgies was beginning to emerge in my consciousness. These pictures were beginning to dock with the evidences, with my guesses, all the pieces of the puzzle from the evidence and visions were formed into a very clear picture, and I was quite clearly aware that my fidelity, my love, my trust, my tenderness were defiled by him. I was realizing that he sold me to his friends and they the entire were crowding humiliated my female dignity, plunging me in a clouded state of consciousness. And then the function of the destruction of asuras was activated in me.

We changed roles in sex. From me at the energy level bottom was going out a powerful fire beam-phallus and was beginning punch him from the inside to the beat of body movements. My husband-asur became the receiving party, the female side and was falling into bliss such an incredible intensity and depth, felt such a comprehensive love that all fuses of his body broken since the body can not withstand such unimaginable bliss, and he in a frenzied pleasure could no longer withstand being in his body and flew out of it. All asuric nature in him was destroyed completely and irrevocably, his life was over, and the task of my life was completed completely — the next strongest unattainable asur was killed.

I immediately was returning to the outer consciousness, again began to aware of reality and, sitting near the lifeless body of my husband, of dearly and tenderly beloved man. In the full despair I prayed to God to have me punished as I have punished the one who was everything in my life and without whom my life is not sweet and that I was taken from life. I sobbed that I could not live without him, within me was beginning to rage to some heavy fire, and I was leaving the body. When I was leaving my body, I was founding myself into the arms of my team. I was realizing who I really am, and saw that the task is done clean: I timely left that dangerous situation, I avoided naturally followed brutal massacre by asuras after the death of their leader.

And all this I did not come up, I would not have had enough imagination for this, I have no fantasy. I do not know how to invent. My husband Shri Ram opened it to me, and he saw it in my life files, which I gave him access to, and he, as a big asur, RA, is able to read and see such life files. How did he open this for me? Usually, he kind of puts his thoughts into my mind, and I suddenly clearly understand how and what happened there. And when it became known to me now, I decided to have done away with all those who amused with me in those sexual orgies in my past lives long ago when I each incarnation came to kill the next most strongest asur whom otherwise it was impossible to get in any way.

I decided that those asuras who were having fun then, lowering me in their sexual pleasures, will now be very cruelly struck off by me from the list of asuras and many, many lives will be very actively promoting Krishna consciousness, and so actively, how actively they lowered me and laughed at me. I decided that they would be absolutely fearless in their active preaching of Krishna consciousness in their future lives and would go to all places, both dangerous and safe, no matter what, because they would have such a mission.

They will carry out my wish that the Srila Prabhupada's will was fulfilled, that many people would receive the mercy of Krishna consciousness thanks to them. They will do everything so that I am not useless to Krishna consciousness, to Srila Prabhupada, to ISKCON, they will make a great contribution to the expansion, development, strengthening of ISKCON. They will try very hard. With what zeal they tried to humiliate me there, with the same and even greater zeal they will actively try to benefit Krishna consciousness, absolutely fearlessly and ardently.

I was so bitter that it all happened to me, to me personally. Shri Ram just opened it in my consciousness, but I didn't see pictures of those lives. Shri Ram saw it. How did I open him things like that? After all, by giving him access to those my vital files, I let him in almost into my consciousness of those lives. When he entered those life files, he saw everything through my eyes. Not through these eyes, which I have now, and eyes of me in those lives. He thought by my thoughts. He was inside my thoughts. As asuras are able to do it, incomprehensible to the mind, but I haven’t asked any questions for a long time: I saw that this is happening, but how it happens? I have unlikely to succeed, and I do not want it. I have enough awareness that once, God knows in what distant lives it was with me. But I thought about what they could do with me in those past lives.

These pictures plunged me into such a terrible state that I again agreed with prabhu Sasha that I had come to Shri Ram in vain. I shouldn't have come to him. He's my husband. He's my real husband, and not such a husband, when someone is with you and you are with him, while there is a pleasure for feelings. He's my real husband. But he became an asur. And many lives he lives as asur. Yes, my Gurudev is right... It`s the material world. All sorts of situations happen here. The main thing is that it is the material world. That says it all. We must go from here into the spiritual world.

Right was my team, with which I work on striking out the universal criminals. They were dissuading me from my approach to Shri Ram. They told me he is asur and will choose what he liked best. But I insisted and said that how could I get on the path of returning to the spiritual world, without even saying goodbye to my eternal husband and not telling him that all these lives I was with him and never abandoned him, even being far away from him? Why I came to him, if he long ago became the asur and are unlikely to understand me?

The pictures with orgies with me in the lead role, when my then-new in every incarnation husband-asur sold me, in my mind became more and more sophisticated, and I thought that I only imagine it all, but Shri Ram saw it all in my vital files. He saw what was done with me, what I felt, how I loved that asur, with all my soul, pure and untainted, how cherished this love, because he was my first and only man as I thought.

But in fact there were many of them. And at meetings with me, when they came to us to discuss their Affairs, they expressed to me deep respect as to the wife of their leader, and then, when the time was coming again for those sexual orgies and when I was injected into the state that I did not realize the reality and at me all sexual brakes refused, they came again, but without respect. And at this time they were expressing very different feelings for me.

And my eternal husband Shri Ram saw it all with his own eyes in my life files. And he also saw me kill. As in my mind during marital sex with that husband-asur flashed pictures from visions, as I remembered physical evidences and my unusual feelings in the body, as everything falling into place in the general mosaic and I was realizing that my beloved husband, my only man is not the only one. That he was selling me to his friends and having fun with me naked in the company of his friends in those nasty sexual orgies.

Lord, Shri Ram saw it all! How that bright burning phallus-ray on my inner screen was came out of me and how it went back and forth inside that asur in our usual sex, when the details of the puzzle converged into the only possible mosaic. During that this asur wriggled beneath me, showed absolutely incredible emotions and completely lost control. And when this sword-phallus was reaching the throat chakra and burned everything that he had asuric, he became completely inadequate.

It was evident that he could no longer bear the intensity of the pleasure he felt, was the impression that he was no longer there, that there is only a clot of pleasure, bliss, but not a human being, not a personality, not a living being. Was only the enjoyment of unprecedented power, only the enjoyment, concentrated in one point, and he could not even move a muscle or a single part of the body. He just froze in the pleasure, which further dragging him away into some kind of whirlwind, and begged not to stop.

Yes, he was aware of it, but this pleasure was so powerful and pulling deep into some funnel that he had only one thought: just don't stop, just don't stop. But I did not think to stop, I coolly, as if doing everyday work, punched higher and higher and pushed him out of the top of his head. And Shri Ram saw it with his own eyes when he entered those my vital files.

How did I trust him with this? I do not know. But how did he tell me that? This is really a question of questions. And so my whole novel: I open him some vital files, he was stunned by what he saw and the height of my trust in him, and then I forced him to open to me what he saw there. And here was the most difficult thing for him. It's one thing to see it, and another thing to open it to me. But he did it. Not knowing what my reaction will be, that is, knowing, but not knowing exactly to what edges it will reach. Risking everything and surrendering to the will of God, because I could enter into such a rage that I could easily kill him. Because he left me first. For this reason I became like this. And for this reason that happened to me.

He as my husband is responsible for me, even if we are not together. And I would think that he didn't protect me, and I was in this depressing position, and I could have killed him. He took a big risk. He took a big risk that I could get away from him, and that I could go find for shelter in Nrisimhadev and cry Him, pointing to Shri Ram as the one who made me cry so bitterly. I could've killed him myself. But he still revealed it to me. So, in acts of mutual trust, and there was our interaction with him.

I thought I made a mistake coming to Shri Ram. No happiness in life. Even if we will together, happiness is still in fact will not. Can there be happiness if you know about this man, that he deserted you once and you from-for this has become such Mata Hari, and then and inspector of Universe Patrol? And what were you doing there, what the secret operation to destroy the universe of criminals you conducted, what was donated and how themselves are not spared and put yourself in jeopardy for a full... And knowing that he in this life many times has betrayed you, dumped you. What happiness could there be? As Yudhishthira said in the movie «Mahabharata»: «And now we go to do austerity under the name „Life“».

All these thoughts led me to a result: since I have come to this Shri Ram, we must do everything that it is not in vain. We need to destroy more of these asuras and make more of those who serve Srila Prabhupada so that I will no longer be useless to Srila Prabhupada's mission, to ISKCON. And I went to do it. This time with those who amused themselves in sexual orgies in those lives with me, who was a faithful, chaste, sincere soul, believing in the love and protection of her husband, the beloved and the only one for life.

The striking out those swells who were having fun with me in their sexual orgies, put into a distorted state of consciousness, when I was not aware of reality and was with sexually the brakes turned off, I started the day after Shri Ram opened it all up to me. It was October 5, 2017, Thursday. There was a lot of work, I sat all day working at my Desk, I worked and listened the playlist with different mantras. On some mantras I had some mood, and I looked at them and dealt with this group of asuras with all wholesale.

I started with Narasimha Maha Mantras «Ugram viram maha-vishnum jvalantam sarvato mukham nrisimham bhishanam bhadram mrityur mrityum namamy aham». When I sang it, I imagined them all, these men who staged sexual orgies with me, introducing me first to an unconscious state, so that I thought that only my husband was with me. I was such a trusting, naive young woman who trusted and thought that he, my husband-asur, loves me, I love him, and I'm protected by 100 %, he loves me, he will kill all to protect me. I didn't even have a shadow of a thought that he was able to even think about it, and not what to do. But he did. He gave me to his friends for fun, in their sexual orgies. And when I listened to the Narasimha Maha Mantra, I thought of them all.

They all appeared in front of me on the inner plane of some sort, I looked at them and thought that need to inflict them severe pain. And since they were having fun with me in sex, then I'm all of them tore off the tip of penis, which they were fucked me, painful, cruel, and from the gaping holes on the tip of their penis stretched thin red threads to me. There were a lot of asuras, I just thought and I see as if I tore off with the meat of the very tip of their penis at all at the same time and went red blood threads to me.

From time to time, sitting at my Desk, I was doing a break from work and was letting go of my hands in a spontaneous dance to the music. and I noticed that this time I have some strange movements went, I let go of my hands, and they are to the music spontaneously themselves as if moving, draw some gestures, and there they have on my internal screen as on the projection it all happens. And at some stage I stretched my index finger and really felt how I pressed on pain points of asuras. And I began to press and scroll with my finger in their pain points, and I feel that I'm pushing them the pain points and this pain permeates all of their nature. And then they were all strung on some spear.

Ahead was the biggest, the most powerful of them asur, and behind stood other, one after another strung on some rod, like pieces of barbecue on a skewer, and for a long time I let the fire through the asur, who stood in front of the others in that kebab, imagining that this fire burns so painfully that it is simply unbearable to endure it and it is easier for a person to part with life than to endure this pain. But I thought that they do not need to part with life now, because in this case they will still remain in the material world, and this is constant births and deaths, and just leaving the body will not solve anything, it is completely hopeless.

I gave them a little break. I decided that at the moment they have no right to leave the body, because I want me to become useful for ISKCON, for Srila Prabhupada, and for this it is necessary that after receiving the punishment they went to engage in devotional service of Krishna and very actively promoted Krishna consciousness. I want to feel that I do not live in vain, that I am benefiting Krishna consciousness. I thought that when they had fun with me then in those sexual orgies, they tried very hard there.

And I thought, the more pain they will experience now, the more they will then advance Krishna consciousness in their future lives, that Krishna become them and me, because of whom they became such, pleased. I saw very clearly that the more they will were in pain now, the more they would work for Krishna consciousness in future and I very hard tried to miss the fire through them, who were pierced by a rod, during the Narasimha Kavacham.

Then I turned on the mantra «Patrick Bernhardt — Shiva Shakti» and saw that of me suddenly came a claw with sharp-nagged notches on the end. And I missed this claw through the rod, on which they were all strung, and I began to move these rough and prickly thorns in each of them, but I did not allow them to leave the body, as the more they experience pain here, the more actively they will serve Krishna in their future lives. And that's rightly, because they did that not only with me, they have mocked women for so many lives and earned the hellish worlds, but better for them to suffer here and go to serve Krishna and then return into the spiritual world than go to hellish worlds.

I could give them to the yamadutas, but I was very kind to them, they got a great opportunity. If they had not come to me, they would have gone to the hellish worlds for long, after which they would continue to be in the material world, but after this execution they will bring people good and will be able to escape from the material world into the spiritual. So the game is worth the candle, I decided and continued the execution. Especially since they had to endure only a day, and how many lives they brought pain to other living beings, and not count. So they got off very easily, falling into my hands.

And I poking around in them the sharp claw with a lot of notches, and pressed the pain points somewhere in the middle. When they fucked me then, they had a lot of fun, they laughed at me, but today they were not at all laughing, and today I mocked them. And then I from this claw poured into them poison, very painful, corrosive everything. But I should have caused them unbearable pain: the more painful the better, and that poison was particularly painful. And as those asuras-husbands in those lives were leaving the body because it couldn't bear the beyond bliss, so these fellows felt such pain which body cannot bear. But I kept this pain at them on the verge, that is a little more, and fuses of their body could break.

And then I stood over all of them and let a burning ray out of my third eye into the first asur of them, into the biggest one that was strung on that skewer in front of them all, and from him spread over all of them. And then I plunged into each of them a thing with pins, into the poison from my sharp claw, into poison, by which all of them were completely filled, and the pins were plugged into a high-voltage electric current, and they felt so much pain that they could not stand even a moment, they could leave the body at any moment, because the fuses were working on the limit.

But one of them still could not stand and flew out of the body like a white paper crane. I felt sorry for him, because I did not bring him completely, his fuses were weak, but why did he become involved in those sexual orgies in those lives if he had such weak fuses? But I thought that he will benefit anyway, because I have determined the fate of all of them and they can not avoid it, and he will go there, and since he has experienced very strong pain, he will try very hard to satisfy Srila Prabhupada and Krishna. I went about my business, thinking that those electrodes with current, immersed in the poison corroding everything, will do its job.

And in the evening I began to wash dishes. There was a lot of work to do on that day, I was very tired and wanted to postpone continuation of their penalty to the next day, thinking that they should spend more time in this corroding poison with electrodes immersed in it with a high voltage current, and I said to Krishna, «Krishna, I will not deal with them today, forgive me, please». But Krishna said to me, «Well, you try, well, I beg you very much». And I said to Krishna, «But I don't know what to do with them».

And then came the screenshot from «Mahabharata» with the words «Trust me, sakhi», that is, «Trust me, friend». But I said, «Krishna, but I'm very tired, I don't want to now», and there was a screenshot of Krishna pushing the Draupadi`s chariot with his shoulder, as if to say, «I'll help you. You just start and I'll help you». And I said, «Yes, Krishna?» He said, «Yes». I said, «Well, if you ask, I do it…»

And I decided to continue. Narasimha Maha Mantra as something not went, I still something turned on: not was felt contact with them, they were somewhere lost. I think: I won't torture them anymore, they've had enough, it is necessary to send them already completely, and the sooner, the better, I do not want to even look at them, I'm sick of them... they sit there already wretched, can no longer tolerate, but it is necessary to tolerate, because I do not let them out.

I began to listen and sing the farewell kirtan Bhakta Tirtha Swami «jai jai radhe jai jai shyam jai jai jai vrindavan-dham» and made them sing with me. They stood there not as personalities, they were some amorphous mass. Before that, they stood separately as columns, and here I look at them, and there is an amorphous mass, completely shapeless, moving, it is not clear that, and I gave them all the order to sing with me. And I see: in this amorphous mass it’s as if the mouths open and sing along with me.

I felt that somewhere at the subtle, fine-material level Bhakti Tirtha Swami and his team were waiting for me to send them, those former asuras, to them. They all, and Bhakti Tirtha Swami, and all with him, as would talked me: «Trust». And I spread myself over this singing amorphous mass as some kind of substance, spread out on them, crushed them with myself, and I abruptly sucked in something of them. And I decided that the time had come for them to be sent, and I gave them all an order: «Death». What people call as death, it's really just the coming out of this body and moving into the next body, into the next birth. I decided to send them quickly and tuned in to their future to shoot by them into there as I would shoot from a slingshot by stone. I thought that they would be in Krishna consciousness, that they would be very active in promoting Krishna consciousness, ISKCON, Srila Prabhupada's mission, because I want me not to be useless.

And I turned to all of them with a request: «The guys, dear, you tried so hard, so tried to scoff at me, and now, please, I beg you, even more strongly try to release me from this material world, so I went into the spiritual world. Make everything so that my existence is not useless for Srila Prabhupada, for ISKCON. I hope for you very, very much. You've been with me like men, you had sex with me and now you're responsible for me and you have to take care of me. You have been with me in sex and therefore you are now obliged to fulfill my desire, and my desire is that — I want to return in the spiritual world. You have to do everything for this. You have to do everything possible and even impossible, but to fulfill this my desire».

I saw their future and turned to them as men who were with me as with a woman. When I turned to them as men who have had sex with me and therefore now have to fulfill my desire, I thought of Bhakti Tirtha Swami. I thought that Bhakti Tirtha Swami was waiting all this time, he has a team there, and they are waiting for when I send all those to them. I saw a big funnel-shaped vortex above, and there were Bhakti Tirtha Swami with Krishna's devotees, and I sent all those to them, and they were accepting them in that funnel-shaped vortex.

First flew away the largest asur, who stood in front of everyone and through whom I did everything, apparently, he is in those lives, particularly distinguished himself. And when he was flying there, he shouted to me: «We will meet again», and in his voice heard the threat. I was very scared. And then that funnel-shaped vortex turned into a huge vacuum cleaner with a powerful thrust with a huge nozzle, their in one moment there sucked. And I saw Bhakti Tirtha Swami with the devotees who accepted them there. I felt so relaxed, like I was sitting in a temple on a Begovaya at the altar after prasad... and so good... I really felt that they were all there, in the hands of the Bhakti Tirtha Swami`s team and I can relax. I did my job.

I destroyed all those asuras who made a toy of me in the distant past, who all fucked me, when I was a faithful, chaste wife of the most powerful, unattainable asur. I safely sent them to the future, where they will serve Krishna. And I did not just clean them all from the asuric nature, I was hurting them deliberately, thinking that the more they will feel pain now, the more active they will serve Krishna and spread Krishna consciousness in their future lives. I had every right to do so, because they were with me with as a woman, because they had sex with me.

Many men do not understand how they risk having sex with different women. They think it's just an episode in life and nothing else, but in fact if he had sex with a woman, then he took responsibility for her and must fulfill her wishes, as a husband is obliged to fulfill the desires and whims of his wife. Is his destiny. But desires can be different.

And those comrades-asuras didn't understand, what entails for them sex with a woman who for them is no one, who is a stranger to them wife, and I was the wife of their leader. But in fact, all women for a man, except his wife, a real wife, and not temporary options with the tag «wife», are other people's wives. And if a man has entered into sexual relations with a woman, he is already obliged to fulfill her desires. And so I wished and expressed to them aloud my desire, which I wanted them to fulfill.

Desires can be different. As they say, be afraid of your desires. But in their case this phrase sounded differently: «Be afraid of desires of the woman with whom you had sex» because time you had sex with her, she has the right to implementation of you her desire. And those asuras got into trouble, because my desire was my return to the spiritual world. I wanted that those asuras put all their future lives to fulfill this my desire. And I hurt them, sending them to their future, so that they there with special zeal tried to fulfill my desire.

I was directing all this pain in all of them through the largest of them asur, who stood in front of everyone. He got the most, and the most amazing thing for me was that when he was flying into that funnel-shaped vortex to Bhakti Tirtha Swami and his team up there somewhere, this big asur, who was experiencing the pain of unbearable intensity all day, was able to shout to me that we will meet him again. How could he even say anything? But he did not just say it, but threatening me, they say, I'll get to you and take revenge on you for my suffering.

He was wrong because my suffering was much greater. I was a pure, innocent, sincere girl. But they all were fucking me. Yes, I did not realize the reality, but it does not detract from my torments and the depth of my despair and grief, which covered me, when during marital sex all the pieces of the puzzle converged into a single picture and I realized that I was sold and fucked me although I was a pure soul, loving and sincere. How I felt then, he was unaware, and its he was not interested.

Women for him were just expendable, cannon fodder, which has no right to feelings and desires. Not to mention that she has the right to her own dignity and to its protection. In his understanding of woman was food. Nothing else. In his understanding of woman was food in terms of meeting his needs and desires. And what there could emerge perverted and cruel desires at him? Her job is to satisfy its. And this great asur, having already ceased to be asur, still did not understand any after this day of unbearable pain and wanted to take revenge on me.

And I thought that it is necessary to correct his fate, to give him a special future that he completely changed and stopped looking at women as expendable and stopped thirst for revenge, and to whom? Thirst for revenge to woman. He's male. His Dharma, his duty as men is to protect women. But not to threaten or retaliate. And he didn't understand it. He did not understand now and never understood that he, as a man, is the defender of women. He must put his whole life in the protection of those who are weaker than him, who has the right to this protection.

And I decided that his future would be special. I just pushed him out of his body, and he has not yet received a new body, he has fallen into the hands of a team of devotees of Krishna led by Bhakti Tirthi Swami somewhere there, between lives, and they know their case. I pulled those comrades out of their life, crossed off the list of asuras and determined their future, and then they will be engaged in those who are engaged in the preparation of such here. But while that big former asur has not yet gone to his new body, to his new birth, there is time to correct his future, taking into account those his words, which he managed somehow to shout me flying into the funnel-shaped vortex.

Those words scared me, but Krishna reassured me that He would protect me. But I still considered it my duty to correct the future of that great asur, because he did not understand everything that he had to understand, and it was necessary to give him such a future that he understood it. I have the authority to punish those whom they give me, and if this punishment did not work to the end, then it is necessary to correct it. Shouting out a threat to me, he showed that he did not even understand why he was punished, that he caused such pain to the woman. He didn't care what the other person felt. For him the main thing was that he liked it. He thought he was innocent.

And I decided that I should give him extra punishment onto all his future lives. I decided that since he did not understand why he was punished at all, if he, even after feeling pain such a high degree, did not feel the depth of the pain that he caused to a woman, being a man, then he must be punished. I felt sorry for him for some time, but I had to check the writing of one word at gramota.ru, and they told me he wasn't even worthy of pity.

And I realized that we need to give him a much crueler punishment, in order to he felt it and in order to at our meeting in our future he asked me for forgiveness, sincerely and with all heart, repented of the deed and in order to I forgave him. I thought since he said about the meeting, it would happen, but in a different capacity, in a favorable for all. It will be a meeting not man and woman, and on some business, just as a heart-to-heart conversation. He will pour out his soul to me, telling me about his life, about his ordeals, which I will appoint to him now, and looking for a way out.

When I thought about what to appoint him, I remembered one of my relatives. I remembered my kinswoman's husband, whom I have known since my childhood and to which I treated as to my uncle, although blood kinship was not. When I became an adult, I often went to visit them. One day I had to give money that I took from that kinswoman of mine. I got here on time when she used to come home from work, but she was late that day, and I decided to wait for her. At home was only her husband, whom I considered to be relatives and whom as a man did not perceive. And what a great shock I had when he made an attempt to rape me.

He did not succeed, because I fought with all my strength, shouted very loudly, all the neighbors heard, he could not close my mouth, and I had good physical training, at school I was seriously engaged in gymnastics. He had to throw me out the door. In the morning he came running to me all shaking and begged me not to say anything to his wife. He loved her. I promised him I wouldn't tell her. In the formulation of his request, a mistake crept in. I said nothing to her, but I stopped going to them, although I used to constantly go to visit them.

She was alarmed, she began to ask what the reason was, I was silent, then she started questioning my mom, but she also did not know. No one knew. But my mom was really worried, and she found a way to get the truth out of me. I told her everything. My mother told all the relatives. They have on this ground nearly had a divorce, but somehow he persuaded her to forgive him. But to her, his wife, I said nothing, not half a word.

Some years have passed, I got married, my husband and I went to Moscow, and suddenly my mother calls me and says that that relative was taken into slavery. He was stopped somewhere in Russia on the road, thrown out of the car and taken into slavery, right on the road. He was there for over six months. Everyone was looking for him, but there was no trace. Somehow he managed to call his wife. And the only thing he said is that he asks me for forgiveness and that he asks me to forgive him. And my mother asked me to forgive him because he thought he was very guilty in front of me and he was punished by God for that.

I did not think about him, I have long forgotten about him and even forgave. He be alarmed so hard that morning and begging to forgive him and not to tell his wife. It was obvious that he realized that he made an irreparable mistake, and I forgave him at the same time, but my mother did not forgive him. When I told her all this, she said she wanted him to get what he deserved. And because my mother on the phone asked me very much to forgive him, I tried very hard to forgive him and asked Krishna to release him. After that, he was able to escape from captivity and return home.

And when I thought about what punishment to assign to this asur, who shouted to me that we will meet with him again, I remembered my relative, who was to us as a family friend and so treacherously did. And I saw the Parallels between them. It seems that the big Asur was the same as my relative. I guess he was like a friend of my husband's, a friend of my family, who I treated as my own, but not as a man, and who I trusted. And he had humiliated and lowered me, and now he didn't understand anything, and he dared to threaten me that we would meet him again.

I remembered my mother's words that she wanted him to be severely punished, but children should not suffer, because he had three children. And it happened. The children weren't hurt. He was not with them for about six months, all was looking everywhere for him, and then he returned home, but he was in slavery and suffered very much there. And I decided to give this asur such a punishment, that he would repent as my relative did, and that he would be very respectful of women.

I thought that my mother told me that children should not suffer, and I decided that many, many lives he will be where there are fighting; he will be on the right side, not on the side of terrorists. He will often be captured, he will be brutally executed there, but he will behave steadfastly and not succumb to their threats and demands. How he will get there, in combat zones, where it is very dangerous, no matter, and on conscription, and under the contract, all the same, the main thing that he will be there every life. He will fight. But that, as my mother said, the children should not suffer, he will never have a family.

He can have a family only when he will sincerely apologize to me and when he will be to honor women and value his Dharma of protector. But before that he will not have a family at all and he will be wars to fight for what is right. He will see a lot of pain, a lot of injustice. He's not gonna have sex, because when I was sending them into their future lives, I first of all tore off their male genitals and pulled out all their masculine power, everything that they had there. He won't be a homosexual. He will be a normal man, with a normal sexual orientation, but he will not touch women, he's not gonna have sex, because my mother said that children should not suffer, and it is impossible that he had children, and from any sex can get a child, so he will not have sex at all. He will only war, fight and fight. Not too long each time he will fight, because on war kill.

And after a lot of lives after all his life's vicissitudes of these wars, he will feel something and understand, he will see all the injustice, and we will meet with him somehow. In some peaceful, calm, quiet environment, not in the combat zone, somehow he will suddenly be there. He and I will fall into talk, he will tell me about his understanding of life, that this world is not a place for a gentleman. He really realizes this, but he will not know the way out of this completely hopeless situation, in which he got.

And I will show him the way out — it`s Krishna consciousness. I will say to him: «Here is Krishna consciousness, here is Krishna, here is the spiritual world, Hare Krishna mantra, ISKCON of Srila Prabhupada. Go to Krishna. There is nothing good in the material world for which one could remain in it». And he will be very grateful to me that I showed him the way out of the material world, because he will be so tired of these wars, of the dirt that he will see there that he will not want to live. But at the same time a vicious circle because while you are in the material world, you have to be born and live. And if all lives we have to war and see one dirt, senseless cruelty and futility of life, then this is complete hopelessness.

He will ask me for forgiveness for everything, and then his punishment, these wanderings through wars will end, and he will go straight to the devotional service of Krishna and return to the spiritual world. He will pray for me, because he will be very grateful to me, and he will ask Krishna to take me to spiritual world long before this Kali Yuga begins to untwist its flywheel. And Krishna will fulfill his desire, because Krishna loves His devotees and fulfills their wishes.

After that, there was another small but interesting, from my point of view, case, which I want to briefly mention. This case is extraordinary and echoed with the case of the Shepherd (the Shepherd, I do not love you). Probably The Shepherd's preaching to asuras and his example of voluntary coming to me impressed one great asur, and he thought about the possibility of leaving from the material world given to all of us by Srila Prabhupada, but he had many doubts and objections. And he appeared on my inner screen and stood there for a few days, and I did something with him, and then I drew him into me, and he was in me for three days. This is what makes him interesting.

Prior to that, he was such a character I called The Shepherd, I do not love you. I remember in that episode of my Mahabharata I saw myself as a huge Cobra standing over this Shepherd. I sucked him into myself and then I suddenly turned into a jellyfish and immersed The Shepherd in myself, in my gelatinous body of the jellyfish and dissolved him in it. The Shepherd did not have his own body. He was used to being in other people's bodies. But this new character lived among us as an ordinary-looking man, as do all the other asuras born on Earth. But although he lived here and had his body, I still sucked him into myself. This is why I want to cover this case.

In front of my inner gaze on my inner screen some asur was standing for a few days. I did something with him a few times, and then I drew in him in me, and he's completely dissolved into me, like a Shepherd (The Shepherd, I do not love you). He was in me dissolved three days. He began to love me with all his heart. All those days when we were together, I was intensely listening to Srila Prabhupada's lectures. And I from these lectures understood that this asur dissolved in me was a big skeptic because I began to find those lectures where Srila Prabhupada answered questions of debaters where he was constantly asked any provocative questions and he answered them, defending the position.

I do not like such lectures because I have no problem in agreeing with the philosophy of Krishna consciousness. I like other lectures, such that aimed at my audience, at those who live by Krishna consciousness. But when I pulled this asur into me, suddenly all the lectures I was finding on the Internet by method of random pointing, without looking, were very philosophical. These were lectures in which Srila Prabhupada constantly repulsed the attacks of the debaters, answered not easy, provocative questions, objections, and all the lectures consisted only of questions and answers. At first, I wondered why I was opening such lectures, and I love to use method of random pointing, without looking, but in this case, for some reason, were only such lectures, with disputes, objections, questions and answers.

I thought: what is it? I like the other lectures, but I listen and listen to this debate from lecture to lecture. Well, I guess it`s for him, for that asur, who sits dissolved in me. Apparently, he had many questions and objections on Krishna consciousness. The asuras had already listened to a lot and watched my novel «My Roman. I’m asur’s wife», because I destroyed many of them and they couldn't help watching my videos, fearing for their lives. And since I talked a lot about Krishna consciousness, many asuras seriously thought about it.

Most likely this asur, who was dissolved in me in those days, had a lot of questions, and that's why I listened those lectures, where Srila Prabhupada personally answered his questions through lectures. Most likely, the Shepherd ( The Shepherd, I do not love you) was a great authority for this asur and his voluntary withdrawal from the Asuras into Krishna consciousness greatly impressed him and he was faced with the dilemma: to believe the Shepherd, or his doubts.

After some time I realized that this asur has received answers to all his questions in these lectures, as such lectures ended and kirtans began. We had a good time together. I showed a lot of emotions, he saw all my emotions and loved me with all heart. And then Krishna through screenshot on my desktop told me to free him. I thought: and what to free him? I realized that when I pulled him into me, his shell, his physical body, was left without him, empty, because he was completely drawn into me.

And I thought: his body three days in there somewhere or lying in a coma, or are unconscious, in intensive care is. And if he, as a soul, was pulled out of his body and pulled into me, what happened to his body? If he's not even there. If he, in dissolved form, is in me and undergoes re-education, as if reprogrammation, and the body without a soul is just like an empty shell. And I thought, well, he's got a body that's still alive, because he's dissolved in me and he had a body, but since he is still in me and has not departed to his future lives, then his body hasn't died yet. The body is already three days without him there. Many functions of his body, most likely, are already been severely impaired and lost. He cannot be returned to such a body, because the body is already damaged without these functions.

And I thought that since Krishna told me to free him, I had to free him. I put him in his body, and he sat there, and then I let him out into that funnel-shaped vortex on top. When he flew there, of course, during kirtan Hare Krishna, I suddenly made him like a respectful obeisance, as if I expressed my respect to him. I did not make a bow to any of these asuras, and then somehow it happened. Even to the Shepherd, who will preach to the powerful of this world, I did not bow and this was not going to, but suddenly for no reason, when I was washing dishes, my hand accidentally slipped off the plate and joined with the other hand in Namaste.

I noted this and thought: strange, why would I suddenly express my respect to someone of asuras? And I felt that he would be a great devotee of Krishna, a Holy, spiritual master in ISKCON. And when he was flying out there in his future lives, he held his hands in Namaste and looked at me with such reverence and such love... He was fully prepared for his mission.

And it was the result of the exemplum and preaching of the Shepherd for asuras through my series of my novel “My Roman. I’m asur’s wife”. It's the Shepherd (The Shepherd, I do not love you), when he existed in his disembodied form, even then began to fulfill his mission, which he chose himself, and this fellow was its first fruit. And what fruits will the Shepherd have in the future when he actually begins to do what he has chosen? I am very interested in it, but, alas, it will be in the future lives, and where I will be then and in what body, in what life is unknown.

As they say, the tree does not know the taste of its fruits, but I will not even know that these fruits were grown on my tree, that I tried to make it happen. This idea is a bit upsetting to me because I want to see results of my work, but the fruits will manifest in future lives, and then such a thought will not even occur to me that it was made by me. By my inner look, by my thought. I feel sad.

My Mahabharata continued, Asuras came to more and more excitement as their ranks were left by the veteran, weighty persons, for example an artel of craftsmen who carried out procedure of the transform in asuras, changed the usual, human nature on Asuric. Just by taking them out of life, I have bared such an important flank for the Asuras. But this my Mahabharata was no end in sight because the Asuras made my eternal husband the Asur because of this we were in different worlds, on different sides of the barricade and now Asuras had to pay for it. They had to pay for many, many my lives without my real husband, without my eternal pair. And my revenge was terrible.

In those days in VKontakte I caught the eye of a picture of my Gurudev Indradyumna Swami with the words «Srila Prabhupada's books are alive. It's Deities. Coming to someone in home, they can stand for many years, standing unnoticed on the shelf, but then deploy their lila in this world. The mercy of the Lord and His devotees is unlimited. Sometimes the most demonically minded people become great saints. Every sinner has a future». I thought that applied to me and to my Mahabharata I'm giving the asuras.

And I thought it was right: every sinner has a future. It is necessary for all asuras to determine their future. And then on my desk, the king from «Kinder Surprise» of «Bremen town musicians» tumbled and fell right in front of me. I accidentally brushed him by my clothes and he fell. I looked at this king from «Kinder Surprise» and thought, «Sometimes the most demonically minded people become great saints. Every sinner has a future». I thought, yeah, I was given some very big asur, a king, so to speak, before that, there were no kings, and he's very demonic, he's very big asur, and we have to expunge him out list of asuras and give him a future. What kind?

If he came to me, of course, he has a good future. He will serve Krishna many, many lives, and then return into the spiritual world. Good future. He'll have a much better future than what he was destined as a result all his demonic deeds in his asuric incarnations. I looked at how he fell in front of me on my desk. This king fell lying supine, under his feet was a stone in the form of a heart, and his hand was stretched out in the direction of the star. it's on my desk a bunch of my, so to speak, working tools that can point to something.

I watched as this king pulls his hand to the star, and I thought that this next big king-asur wants to get his way, he needs a guiding star.

Under the feet of the king lay a heart, and I realized from this that he was trampling love by his feet. In the screenshots I was told to destroy him and soon. I was told, «be humane», destroy him soon, don't delay this case. I was told supposedly I mocked the previous asuras very long, but torture for so long this asur is not necessary, him should quickly send in his future lives. I thought that I pulled out the previous asur from his body, and this body was without its owner as much as three days, it somewhere lay insensitive, probably in a coma or in intensive care. And after that I shoved him back into his empty body shell that was without him so long. In sight, something bad happened to this shell. And how did he feel himself being in that body that lost its functions? Hardly pleasant feelings he had.

I was told to be more humane to this asur, not to pull him out of his body, and then not to return him into the already defective body. We must immediately send it directly from his body and into his future lives. And I did it the next time I did the dishes. I did a lot of things with him. First, I let in a powerful fire from below inside of him, during Narasimha Maha Mantra «Ugram viram maha-vishnum jvalantam sarvato mukham nrisimham bhishanam bhadram mrityur mrityum namamy aham», and fire burned everything in him.

And after the fire burned everything, I went down into his karma. His karma looked like a long, big well with solid walls. And there you fly, you fly, there is no end to this well. Before him, I did not enter into karma any of them, and at this time came in. I flew into this well, that was actually all his karma, and started singing there Narasimha Kavacham, in my favorite musical arrangement, in a dynamic style, performed by Bhakti Marga with a guitar, I found it in VKontakte. I sang inside of the well and thought that Narasimha Kavacham will cleanse his karma, will burn out all.

His karma looked like a bottomless well with black-and white outgoing down spirals. I was flying down there and thought, well, when there is something interesting to be? Well, does he have anything interesting or not? No, it was all so black and white. And when I sang the very end of the Narasimha Kavacham and the last chorus of it: iti shri-brahmanda-purane prahladoktam shri-narasimha-kavacam sampurnam, I was imagining that Narasimha Kavacham fills the whole bottomless well and cleans everything out of it, because sampurnam means «entirely, completely».

And during that sampurnam sampurnam I thought that all his karma, sampurnam, entirely burns in the fire Narasimha Kavacham, after which he from scratch going forward, to serve Krishna and go back to the spiritual world. And then I turned on kirtan performed by my Gurudev, I sing and I see that he is melting. His whole body melts and flows like the soft wax of a burning candle. His whole body began to expire with tears. I look at him, and this pipe of his all melts like a snowman during the spring thaw.

His whole body was crying, really cried a lot, and I go with him to cry and began to say to him: «I beg you very, very much. I am a weak woman. I can not do anything. I can't even chant 16 circles of Hare Krishna mantra that I promised to chant to my Gurudev. And those 4 circles that I chanting, I chanting perfectly absentmindedly. I can't focus on the mantra. My mind jumps back and forth. When I chant a mantra, I think about anything but not about the mantra and Krishna. I have no chance to return to Krishna, but I do not want to be here in this material world. I don't wanna be here! I feel bad here. I as a Universe level corrector, as collector collecting debts from criminals of Universal level, as inspector of Universe Patrol, made a lot of important covert operations, putting myself in jeopardy many times over in full, sampurnam, sampurnam. I seen all, I don't want to be here».

I told him: «Please, do everything, I beg you. Do your best to return to Krishna. Please serve Krishna with all the zeal, wholeheartedly so that He could not not take you to his, please, please, please, please, be a friend. Do me a favor, please. So help me to return to Krishna». Well, how can I return to Krishna, if I on duty it is necessary should go to to them, to the asuras and such as they are vile creatures. I have to come to them as Shahrazad, pretending to be their victim and showing that I am the same as everyone, and even much worse, that I am not worthy of respect, pity, mercy, nothing. And all for them to engage in me, plunged me into the abyss of burning shame and derogatory thoughts about themselves and brought upon yourself my anger so I activate the function of their destruction.

I came to my eternal husband Shri Ram in the role of such a despicable sheep, creating a situation that he looked at me and thought: «She is a cheap, we will break her, she will be our insignificant whore, she will do whatever we want. We will lower her in front of all us on her knees, she is a miserable cheap, we will make of her an obedient slut. A miserable cheap should be an obedient slut». My eternal husband saw me as cheap and considered me cheap, although before that he laid out a lot of some of their asuric money to some guide in dreams to find me in the sleep territory. And he found me there in the sleep territory, but when I came to him, he treated me like a cheapie.

And how can I go back to Krishna if I act in the outside world in the role of cheap? I, without realizing it, come to them in the role of their victim. We start interacting through distance, without contact of physical bodies, at the energy level. They're starting to push me to make me their unquestioning whore. And I, seeing in my physical body the manifestations of their influence, enter into a strong righteous anger and destroy them all, and ruthlessly, cruelly and very painfully for them. I am in despair and righteous anger rise above all of them in a fighting stance, hissing at them with my snake tongue: «You greetings from the cheap» — and destroy all of them, wholesale, with wide coverage and absolutely ruthlessly. How can I go back to Krishna if I have to unleash my resentment to destroy them, to rise above them and pour out my anger, inflated to the limit?

«One should chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street; one should be more tolerant than a tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige and should be ready to offer all respect to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly».

My position is quite different. The mercilessness to sin — that is my Dharma. That's what Draupadi said in the movie «Mahabharata». No respect, no below the blade of grass and was not even close. And how is their destruction carried out? After all, I in many cases show cruelty and make them very hurt. And intentionally and unmercifully. Is it possible to return to Krishna in this case? And I prayed to this great king, who wa

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