Receiving Gurudeva's blessing on my Mahabharata

Yes, you will say that this is far-fetched, but what to do if my life is always like this: everything that happens in my life, everything points to something. And if I saw something, then this is a projection of something that is happening not here, in field of my vision, but somewhere else, that it is directly related to Shri Ram. All this tells about him in this way.

I thought I didn’t want to be where someone else was needed. I thought that I didn't want to control anyone, check, so to speak, cell phones, text messages, history of visits to sites and correspondence on the Internet... I don't want to be where someone else is needed. Or just someone. And I'm in such a mood sat down to write a letter to my Gurudev. I wrote a large letter, in which in the clear described that I have here for almost a year (by that time) last some strange relationship.

With me in touch some man who lives somewhere very close to me, and we love each other, we are somehow husband and wife. That, of course, it can all be a fiction of my mind, but already so much has happened during this time that I have to agree with the obvious facts and accept the idea that this is not from the realm of fantasy, but a real fact. Yes, of course, if at all this is possible, then it can be some supernatural spirit, disembodied spirit, even some creatures, but everything says that with me in touch a real person who lives like ordinary people, really a living person and we are not strangers to each other people. And we are interacting with him.

I see his active presence in my life, even without the physical aspect. He is somewhere, he lives somewhere. And he's in my life. He is present in my life, although he is not with me in physical reality. He is present in my life, invisibly but tangibly, although he himself does not come to me for some completely incomprehensible reason, but he sees through my eyes, where I live, what is happening in my life. It's very strange, but I have to agree with this, considering in mind all the obvious evidence for this. And I wrote about all this in a letter to my Gurudev quite openly and asked him what to think about all this and in what direction to look: to continue to be with him or to try to break away from him?

I asked my Gurudev what is more favorable for me in this situation. I described to him that because of the coming of this man in my life, through distance, without contact of physical bodies, I had returned to Krishna Consciousness. I started chanting the mantra Hare Krishna again. Because I saw that only the mantra Hare Krishna helps me and gives the real protection in all this. I began to listen to the lectures of Srila Prabhupada, spiritual masters of ISKCON, I began to listen to bhajans, kirtans. I again began to go to programs Hare Krishna in the temple, to communicate with the devotees of Krishna, after such a long period without all this. And all this, of course, is very favorable for me. But this relationship... in such a format when you feel that connection all the time, but this man's place in your real life is empty and you're here without help... This is a big dissonance not bringing any positive emotions, confidence and security.

I also wrote to Gurudev that for this man who is in touch with me, interaction with me is favorable, because he listens to about Krishna while he is with me. He wants it or not, but he is forced to do so, because he is constantly in touch with me and through me hears everything that I listen to. And I listen to Hare Krishna. And I asked Gurudev, what should I do: continue to be with him or leave? I sent an email, and almost immediately, the same evening I received a reply from Gurudev.

I received a reply from Gurudev in a randomly opened lecture on the Internet in which Gurudev said, «Srila Prabhupada, I am happy to serve you. I have no shadow of doubt, fear or illusion about my position as your servant. I'd do anything for you. If you had ordered me to go to hell to preach, I would have jumped on the first train rushing to hell, and on the way I would have happily sung the Holy names».

I clearly saw this situation: I am among the asuras, somehow I had to interact with them. And this is not whom people usually call asuras. These are not just ordinary everyman with the consciousness of thirsty pleasures. No, these are the real asuras, with a special asuric nature, whom have some the mystical ability and capabilities completely beyond our understanding and whom do not hesitate to impose their will among ordinary people.

I saw clear parallels between Gurudev's words and my situation, and I realized that Gurudev wanted me not to leave there and continue to preach the Holy name of the Lord there. I accepted his words for his clear answer to me and clear indication of the movement and mentally remained with Shri Ram. Although it was very hard for me, especially considering that I do not see him and what he does, and that he has tricks with women at the energy level, and still are possible and in the real life. And I'm sitting here alone, I don't see anything and I just get the information and decode it. But nothing can be done: I accepted my Gurudev's words as his response to my situation.

We went to the program Hare Krishna the same week. From the program we went home by bus. When we got on the bus, there were a lot of empty seats. My daughter went to sit on one seat by the window. But when she was almost seated at this place, a woman hurried to this seat and, roughly pushing my daughter away, sat down at that place with an arrogant, victorious look. My daughter was stunned by such arrogance. I told my daughter to sit in another place by the window, and I sat next to that woman. I took out of my bag the smelliest Arab perfume and was perfumed. I sat next to this woman, and from me because of this smelly Arab perfume spread such a terrible smell that it was impossible to tolerate. I love the Arab perfumes. The Arab perfumes are natural, without alcohol. I read somewhere that the lower spirits with the low-lying nature are drawn to the smell of alcohol, and since there is a certain percentage of alcohol in all modern perfumes, I do not use these perfumes. I don’t want lower spirits who love alcohol to fly to me because of this trace of alcohol in these perfumes. I have a lot of Arab perfumes, there are very pleasant scents. But then in my purse there were not only pleasant Arabian perfumes, but also very harsh, really smelly. And I maliciously was looking at this brazen woman and was perfumed smelly perfume. Perfume was specific, very smelly, with a pungent smell. I specifically perfumed this perfume so that this woman suffocated from this smelly smell because she pushed my daughter away and took her place, although there were a lot of empty seats and my daughter almost sat down at this place.

Then my father called me and began to ask where we were, where we went, and I, holding the phone in my hand and turning to the woman, said loudly almost in her ear: «На программу» («To the program»). I mean, I told my dad that we went to the program Hare Krishna. But when I came home, I saw that in this situation I was shown the woman, the brazen (Greyhound), with whom Shri Ram was. I was shown the woman who is blatantly sat on my place, pushed me, although the seats were full. And I saw what I did to that woman that Shri Ram was with. I perfumed myself on smelly perfume with a pungent smell and told her «на программу» («to the program»), that is, «бери программу» («to take program»). I installed on this woman very tricky program. When she interacted with Shri Ram and all his team, something unimaginable was starting to happen to them that was not part of their plans and spoiled everything for them. This was resulting in maximum damage and big wave they have there, that they had to get rid of her.

They were all at a loss. I was even more bewildered. How did I know, not knowing her or all of them, what was going on out there, and installed on some kind of elaborate program, that they were all shocked? Because I replied my dad that we went to the program. Apparently, I showed Shri Ram, that it was a program that I installed on her (he had a question about what was going on there because of all that, and I showed him so clearly, on that brazen woman on the bus). I replied my dad that we went to the program, but in Russian I uttered «на программу» (“to the program”). And this expression has another meaning. In Russian, “on” also means “take”: «на программу» = «бери программу» (“to a program” = “to take a program”). That is, I kind of told her: «Take the program». That is, in this way I showed Shri Ram that I installed a program on her, gave her a program. They had to refuse her services.

After that, Shri Ram said to me, «Believe me». But I told him that I had believed him many times, but nothing had changed. But he added, «Please». And then he in my mind brought back memories about my letter with the words «This will not happen again». I thought I had nowhere to go anyway. Gurudev said to be with him, no matter what. Gurudev said boldly preach Krishna consciousness. And it continued.

On February 14, Valentine's Day, I took Boris Akunin's book «The Falcon and the Swallow» from the library, and Shri Ram said to me through the words of that book that day: «I will not do you any harm. You have my word as a gentleman. On the contrary, I am so grateful to you for your coming from nowhere to brighten up my loneliness. Trust me! Here is my hand. I will not abuse your trust. We are alone in this gloomy world, so let's stick together». Yes, these are just words in a book, but we with Shri Ram interact through everything in life. And since these words appeared, and even on the Valentine's Day, then, of course, these words were told to me somewhere there by my Shri Ram. And I took those words as word as a gentleman of my Shri Ram.

On March 3 I went to make the order of the press from files on canvas. I bought a large sheet of chipboard in the hardware store. I cut it there for the size I need. I saved from the Internet those pictures with Krishna, what I wanted to see at home, and went to the firm to order paintings from these files on these boards chipboard. And when I stood there, a man came in. Very decent, intelligent man, good looking. When he crossed the threshold, our views crossed, and I saw splashing in his eyes delight.

That look was familiar to me. I remembered that I had already seen such a look in Moscow, when Borka, the then leader of the Moscow asuric organization, came to me on the train. And he had the same look of admiration splashing around then. And in this man who came in, everything in appearance was taken into account, thought out, everything endeared to himself. I turned away indifferently and listened to what they were talking about. After that, I had thoughts in my head, and what is my Shri Ram, what does he look like, and what if this man is my Shri Ram?

But then I remembered a conversation with my friend, which we had with her on January 4, about stamp in her passport confirming a place of her registration in the house, which has long been demolished. And then I watched one series of TV series «Ramayana» 2008, where Lav and Kush wanted Ram to come to them, but Ram was sending others to them, but he himself did not come to them. And Lav and Kush was saying, «Why doesn't Ram himself come to us? Why does he send others instead of himself?» It all fitted together, and I realized that the man at the Janmashtami and this man in this company is not Shri Ram. I realized that Shri Ram instead of himself them to me sends.

I have come to understand that this man with such a familiar look with a splashing in it delight is an asur, who is in the asuric organization of Shri Ram. I understood that he came to me for some reason. I felt sad about these thoughts, and I mentally returned to the situation when this man went in there and looked into my eyes. I imagined that I was standing in that firm and choosing what I needed, and this man comes in and looks into my eyes with his enthusiastic gaze. I imagined his gaze and mentally entered through the beam of his gaze directly into his head and stood right inside his head. The inside of his head was empty and black. I was standing there, and suddenly from somewhere below some blocs began to fly out up, as if information. And before my inner gaze stood a picture: a dog lying belly up, quietly whining and wagging his tail and waiting for the owner to graciously stroke her on the withers.

I became so disgusted by this picture. I realized that this is how this man is treated by all women. He has everything thought out. He's worked this from every angle. And the women immediately are seduced his outer gloss and fall in front of him like some mongrel bitches in heat, belly up, whine, squeal and wait for him, the alpha male, will give them his mercy. I also saw that it was this man’s attitude towards all women — as to such bitches who are just waiting for the owner to come and will hit her with his stick.

I got very disgusted, and I started using the Ho'oponopono system. I've been practicing the Ho'oponopono method for a long time, which states that all we see, hear, think are programs in our subconscious that just sit and wait for the moment to germinate in our real life and hurt us. And to remove these programs, I began to pronounce: «I'm sorry that I created all these situations. Please forgive me. Krishna, I thank You for removing all this from my subconscious. I thank You». I was looking at my mental screen at this man and at the picture that suddenly appeared when I tuned in to him. I was looking at this dog, which lay belly-up, howling softly, wagging its tail and waiting for the owner to bestow it with his mercy. I thought that this man refers to women in this way, and if I see such an attitude towards a woman, then this is a program and I also have this program. After all, I see it. If I see it, even on my internal screen, it means that this program is in my subconscious. I thought that this attitude towards a woman does not suit me, and decided that I should get rid of this program. And I sincerely was uttering these four phrases of Ho'oponopono. I wanted to free myself from this program, so that in my future this program would not manifest itself and cause such an attitude towards me and towards women. I thought that while this program is in a sleeping state in my subconscious, I can get rid of it completely, completely remove it, so I can secure my future and put good programs in the empty space. And when I was pronouncing «Krishna, I thank You for removing all this from my subconscious. I thank You», I thought that Krishna is rooting out this program from my subconscious and filling with beneficial energy the place in my subconscious that was occupied by this malicious program.

I sincerely was applying the Ho’oponopono system and repeating four phrases of Ho’oponopono to that mental picture of that squealing dog lying at his feet, intensely thinking that I have this program and that I needed to get rid of it. I strongly did Ho’oponopono and suddenly felt that this program is completely shot. And I saw that black snakes began to fly out of this man, inside him, from the bottom up. They were rushing in a big stream, and I kept repeating those four phrases of Ho’oponopono, now on these black snakes. I was saying, «I'm sorry that I created all these situations. Please forgive me. Krishna, I thank You for removing all this from my subconscious. I thank You». I thought that these black horrible snakes which were flying in a swift, wide stream are the programs which this man has. I thought these snakes were the asuric programs with which he was stuffed. I thought that if I see these programs now, then these programs are not only in him, but also in me. I thought that these programs are simply sleeping in my subconscious, waiting for the right moment to activate and start their harmful influence in my real life, sometime in my future. I was understanding that these programs can bring a lot of harm and pain both to me and to my loved ones when they are activated in my distant future. And with all my strength I tried to get rid of these programs. I was understanding that these black snakes, flying at high speed out of this man, are very dangerous, that I have these programs and that I now have the opportunity to completely get rid of them, simply because I see these programs in this man. I was thanking Krishna that He removed all these programs out of my subconscious. I was saying these four phrases of Ho’oponopono, «I'm sorry that I created all these situations. Please forgive me. Krishna, I thank you for removing all this from my subconscious. I thank You». I was saying these phrases and thought that Krishna removes all of this from my subconscious and from this man. I was freeing myself from these programs, but together with me this man was also was freeing from these programs. After all, we are all interconnected in this world. And after a while, everything inside him became clean.

I saw him standing there confused, as lost little boy. And I saw that he is silently crying. I mentally hugged his shoulders, began to stroke his head like a little boy, and say that he is good. If he came to me, he is good. And everyone in the organization of Shri Ram was shocked: such a venerable their specialist, the expert of the seduction of women suddenly became quite different: he could no longer look at women as bitches, whining in anticipation of a handout from her owner. He could see in the women only their higher women's nature and wholeheartedly honor woman as the goddess, or sacred feminine.

How could this happen in just 10 minutes while I mentally was standing inside his head and while I was uttering the phrases of hooponopono, imagining that I get rid of the entire negative that this man has? He came to me there on purpose. He told Shri Ram that I am just whore like everyone else. Like all those whining dogs lying around in the master's feet. And he claimed that he would show Shri Ram in deed that it is so. And for that purpose, he came to that firm, but I did not react to him. Although he applied the maximum of his asuric powers and abilities to seize my attention. And in return, he was cleared of that vision, of treating women as whores, and became completely different. Yes, it's worth thinking about…

212 at 39:54, 213 at 20:30, video «От „песочницы“ к хоопонопоно» at 13:00.

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